Humor abroad !

Dear readers,

One of the sweetest people I know suggested I write about cultural differences in humor. Personally I think humor is very subjective no matter where in the world you come from. Yet, of course some sayings and humoristic take on things, reactions etc. are a bit typical.

First of all let us make one thing clear. I come from a family that joke a lot about sex (yes even around the dinner table!). My family has a great dose of sarcasm and irony mixed into their humor as well, actually it is the backbone of it. The sex-jokes is not typical Norwegian as far as I have heard, it is just us being strange more than anything. I guess in that sense we like to be open-minded. Since I lived in several different places in Norway though I think I can safely say that we use a lot of self-irony and sarcasm in our jokes. For example, if it was obvious that I had a nice day with someone and they would ask me if I had a nice time with them I might tell them with sparkles in my eyes ¨No , it was horrible! I was terribly bored!¨ and often end it with a laughter and a smile. If someone would ask me if it was raining outside as I was standing outside their door soaking wet I would say ¨NO the weather has never been more lovely and dry, so please leave me out here to enjoy.....¨. I think many Norwegians reading this would recognize these kind of responses. Yet I also learned to be careful with it, the older people do not always get it (speaking from experience!).

When I moved to the UK for 3 years I soon realized they do have different humor than me. I think I met a handful of people that could appreciate my openness and well-preserved sarcasm as well as the satisfying dose of self-irony I tossed inn there. We Norwegians also joke a lot about the negative things that happen to us through life, we love using ¨galgen-humor"which can best be described as morbid humor in English. We laugh the sadness away or at least try to when things are difficult. In England they joke about many things, but I think death and sex is not one of then (generally speaking of course, since I know there are some freaks out there as well heheh!) I think young people over there are rather liberal and used to joking around a bit. Yet I remember it struck me a bit dull to joke about politics (which the English people did a lot), they like to ridicule Posh-spice and other fallen celebrities and they do love a good rant-over if someone did something stupid. I still remember being baffled by how some local boys refurnished Sams room at university after he had one of his drunk moments again, they put all his furniture in the roof! So they like to play pranks on others you could say. Hehehe! It was kind of funny sometimes, yet I would feel more comfortable with laughing of my own silliness. I did however pick up a few cultural influences from the English in these things, the joke does not always have to be on me anymore. Sometimes that is allowed right?   

When moving to the Netherlands I guess I was expecting them to be very open about both sex and other types of humor and cultures. I mean they have the red-light-district so why wouldn't they be? Hahahah oh lord did I get a cultural shock. Sure the Dutch people have humor, and yes it really does differ a lot from person to person here just because you have so many different cultures in this small country. I have been so lucky to meet a lot of different people so I can say to you right now there are many many many different types of humor in this country. I have met people with veryyyyy dry humor that do not understand irony even if it sat on their face. Sex-jokes and morbid jokes as you can imagine is a no-go for these people  (learned the hard way!) However, I have also met people that do not take themselves too serious and totally get the use of irony in humor. One thing the Dutch hate though is my morbid humor, it is not fun to joke about the negative apparently , ¨why would you do that?!¨ is a sentence I have heard sooooo many times. If you can not cry then laugh I always say, because people hate negative moments or anything that reminds them of it so why not make a joke of it and laugh until it passes is my philosophy (not always of course but you get my drift I think). 

Living abroad sometimes brings you into places and situations that can get awkward or rewarding. Humor is certainly needed yet also one of the factors that can make an awkward silence even more awkward believe me (speaking from experience here too heheheh). It is fun to look back on those situations now where I made a bit of a fool of myself around dinner tables, though right then and there my face was red as a lobster and certainly not amused after cracking the wrong joke at the wrong time ;)

Stay safe people,

x Annie

Friendships vs. Expat-life - the other side of the coin

Dear Readers,

There is a topic that few expats write about. I see them blog about the fantastic experiences they have had in the countries where they are or have stayed in. I read about international cooking, weird experiences yet there is one side of the expat life few people (if any) ever write about. Being born into the a world which is becoming smaller and smaller might make you think that moving across boarders only opens doors. That living abroad does nothing but enrich your life. I can tell you I thought that, I dreamt of it all my childhood, longed for a get-away, longed for freedom to speak, travel and be myself. I wanted adventure, to learn from other cultures and to feel foreign soil under my feet.

My first move was as many of you know not abroad. At the age of 16 I moved not too far from my hometown. The place was called Voss and is around 1,5-2hours away I guess but it was enough to make me realize that distance changes your relationships with family and friends. Though I did not have many close friends in my hometown I did have some that I had let inn a little. Some people that I had opened up to, just a little bit more than the rest. We of course like close friends do promised to meet up as much as possible (every weekend!). On everything holy to us us we promised to keep in touch.  Our idealistic idea was, that real friendship never dies. I did not come back every weekend and they did not visit me either, neither did my family. We kept in touch for a few years, via letters but that too soon died. Why? Distance and lack of time and confirmation that we were still okay maybe. We found new friends, maybe better friends (?) and I again promised myself to not loose touch when I moved again. This time my best friend from Voss actually joined me in the move, we studied at a better school in the south west of Norway (4 hours away from my hometown this time). I had stopped going back home all together, there was nothing for me there I thought at the time (although that was not entirely true of course, but what can I say I was a teenager!)

After 3 years in Nedstrand with my best friend I had made even more friends. Good friends, close friends and again we promised to keep in touch and visit each other after my move to England. My best friend came with me so at least there I knew we would keep in touch for sure. A part of me knew that none of my good friends from Nedstrand would ever visit me in Britain. Yet I had hopes, I also had hopes some other friends of mine from Norway would visit, but they never did though I visited them a few times.

I guess the point is, no matter how hard you try the distance put between you demands hard efforts from both sides psychologically decline. To become less of an obstacle you need to be really focused on the other person and feel that you are a priority to them as well. Life gets busy and you get new friends, new priorities and this is what happens to most people. This is why I hate saying goodbye to good friends, because I know the drill and promises all too well. 

Thinking about all those great people who has let me be a part of their life though does bring me joy. Even if I had the honor of just being a part of theirs for a split ¨second¨ in this life which feels so long already. Expats all over the world must recognize this I think, being free or unattached sometimes leads us down the path to nostalgia and reminiscence. I just hope one day there will be some kind of balance for me, between traveling and seeing friends. I am for once not craving to be unattached nor to have constant freedom, feeling safe, warm and loved has started to tempt more and more ( am I GETTING old?!) ;)

x Annie

Work cultures abroad

Dear Readers,

A lot of you might just be curious travelers that want to learn about local treasures and the culture of the country in broad terms. I am sorry to disappoint you with such a boring blog post as this then. I promise to write something about nice local restaurants, bars and clubs at some point ;) 

For me it is more interesting to write about everyday matters experienced in different countries. The life beyond the touristic experience, the everyday hussle and bussle og things. The things we love and hate about living and working in another country. Where do we get stuck? What kind of cultural ¨caramels¨ are difficult to swallow for you? I certainly have had a lot of funny discussions with other expats about certain moments here in the Netherlands which were related to cultural differences. 

One example is at work. In Norway for example you will stay home if you are sick, just for a few days to get better (of course not if it is just a little cold!). Here in the Netherlands the Dutch are very committed to their jobs, no matter how low paid it is or crappy tasks that awaits them everyday, I know of Dutch people diagnosed with brain cancer that STILL insist of coming to work everyday until the end (and yes he did have money to sustain himself even without a job!). Or a less dramatic and more common thing I saw in many of my previous colleagues; 40 C fever, barely possible to breathe....sinusitis or ulcers or stuff like that and they WILL still go to work unless they have to crawl (or maybe even then?) For what I ask myself?! Are you really productive (other that as a virus spreader...) when you are in that state ?! I think not, why not stay home for 2 days and avoid spreading your germs around you to everyone else in the office for 2 weeks and subsequently contaminate the rest of the work-force?

For me the logic is simple, if you are sick it is better to stay home if it is serious. Get better and more productive, be strong an effective or do not be there at all;) But maybe that is just the viking in me talking. I certainly know that if I had my own business I would not care much for germ spreaders hehehe!

In the UK I they were not that fussed, if you were sick you were just that...sick. You did not need to work from home or stuff like that, but rather take it easy until you got better. The big difference there for a Norwegian was the horribly low salary. Most people there live at their parents place until the age of 30-35! The housing prices are simply so high and the salaries so low that it is impossible to move out earlier apparently! (I moved out at the age of 16....not saying that this is a good thing, just comparing;)

What I DO like about Dutch work ethic is that they are a people of entrepreneurs. You have to look long and hard to meet a more motivated folk and dedicated hard workers. I think it has just become an expectation from Dutch managers that employees show up at work no matter how ill they are. I just wonder how this is supposed to be a good thing in the work-force?

In Norway I started working from the age of 13, I was always a very dedicated and hard worker (at least I think so and as far as I know my employers there as well). So what is annoying with the Norwegian work culture, or funny at the least? Oh let me tell you we are certainly not perfect either hehehe. What I like and what I experienced at least was that your team becomes your 2nd family. Sometimes you love em, and sometimes well...maybe not so much! What I dislike is that we hate to give direct feedback, we tend to whisper behind our colleague's back in fear of being rejected or land in a conflict. Me and one of my Norwegian friends here in the Netherlands discussed it yesterday and us Norwegians we are simply put, very conflict shy. We have hidden opinions (and let's be honest, what is the point of that!) I could go on and on about how this is not one bit productive and a very negative trait in my people, but I think we all understand why this is not productive (obviously!;)

In England it was a bit like that as well, but the English is better at praising you as well when you do something good at work (they have to with that salary ;). Us Norwegians are not so good at this either and the Dutch? Well so far I do not find them very good in the praising department, however I must say it really depends where you work and the age of those you work with.

As with most things when you work abroad, there is pros and cons to consider. My advice to Norwegians that go to work in the Netherlands would be. Be prepared for a direct culture, to work hard when you are sick, to get inspired and push yourself to become better even if you are great at what you do. Be prepared to discuss and dare to dream. There is no ¨Jantelov"over here, you are allowed to brag a little, but as the Dutch say ¨doe even normaal!¨ (do not get carried away!)

                                                    Copyright: 40tbfacts.com (2015)

                                                     

Until next time peeps!

xAnnie

Dreams, Languages and Adventures

Dear Readers,

It has been a while. Last time I wrote I had been lost in the ¨mini-ghetto¨ of Amsterdam, luckily nothing dramatic. When you know the lingo.....you can get anywhere ;)

Since last time a lot has happened in my life. First of all I am moving again and secondly I am looking for a new job as well. The advantage I do have is that I speak several languages and in that sense it is easier to get a job. When I was a young student in the age of 10-16 I was not really good in English and I sure was not fluent in any way. I had never heard of the Netherlands and I did not know one single word of Dutch either.

The first time I heard Dutch I must have been 18 years old! I remember thinking it was very funny to hear my classmate which had Dutch parents speak with his mother on the phone. I almost peed my mountain pants because I was laughing so hard. It was the strangest language I had ever heard except for the ¨click-clock-clack¨ language somewhere in Africa. My classmate must have found me so annoying, I would have never expected to end up in the Netherlands , let alone speak the language like I do now at this age.

It is funny how knowing a language can make you feel better, more included and certainly more able to cope with and understand a new culture. In the past I saw it as a necessary to learn different dialects and languages and now I see it as a window to a culture's history, a tab that distinguish where a person comes from. As a young girl I loved playing characters and to make a different dialect for them, it was a game and maybe even an escape from a small-town between two big mountains at the end of a fjord. I could be someone else for a second , somewhere else and if not in person then at least in spirit. I would dream of traveling to distant lands where I saw new things and learned new words. I dreamt of many things, but most always ended with me heading off to a new horizon or planning my next great adventure.

A lot has changed and my dreams have been chased and has brought me both a lot of sadness yet also great joy and wisdom on the way. I now know 4 languages pretty well, I speak and write Dutch and my English is better than I could have hoped for. Many people do not see the importance of learning more than one language, yet I truly believe that this is one of the subjects schools should focus more on. Why? The youth of today goes global, beyond the boarders of home to study or work. History, social studies and language are probably the subjects I have used the most in my life and I know of many others that have done the same.

The world is becoming one big melting pot of cultures and people, to better understand one another there is a need for more focus  on education that prepare us for this. Especially in Norway I think we should be more open to these factors. Our country is not immune to changes, we can either progress and be flexible or stand tall and strong and get broken by that thing called...oh what was it ? oh yes the FUTURE! ;)

All I know is that for me, it mattered that I had a lot of English at school and that I went to England for 3 years and that I ended up in the Netherlands and had an awesome tutor to help me learn Dutch. It might be hard at first but learning a new language is worth every hour in the study room.

xAnnie

The International ¨Fairytale¨

Dear Reader,

As someone who loves travelling but have not always got the funding it is always fascinating to hear what motivates different people to travel. Some people travel to explore new places and cultures, some do it to grab new opportunities, some do it to escape, some to it to find themselves whilst some of us just have a vague idea of what we are looking for. Some travellers just have this inner gut feeling that they need to move around, to smell an airport , to see something new and feel a different road under their feet.

I actually am not sure in which category I fall, maybe it is blurry and I fall under a bit of everything. Since the age of 16 I have been moving around a fair share. First just 2 hours from home by car and then 4 and so on and so forth. Meeting new people certainly opened my eyes even if it was within Norwegian boarders. I would stay for a few years and then out of the blue a new destination would pop up  for different kinds of reasons. Like a few years before I graduated with my college degree a man from England came to visit the college. His name was David and he had a kind face and such an inspirational voice. He spoke about how you could get this manager  degree at his University that focused on the animal industry as a whole. It had a nice and soothing ring to it and I needed a goal to survive so I decided that that was it. If I would not have had that goal I do not know where I would have been today. So in one warm September day in 2007 I headed off to a new country and a future. I remember looking down on Norway's amazing scenery from the plane and seeing the houses getting smaller and smaller somehow made me calm. In that moment something had let go of me and I knew that an international fairytale was waiting ahead, or at the very least an international experience, a story. More and more young people do this, they find peace in travelling or getting an international experience. It is an interesting development , once influenced by numerous factors. 

England was amazing in so many ways. People were polite (not a-typical Norwegian manners...sorry dear patriots), it was also one of the few countries where I actually felt at home. I have no clue why but something tells me I will one day return and settle there, but maybe that is just wishful thinking.  There is so much left to explore on that island so much that I never had time to do. English people have this amazing way of making me feel very comfortable and relaxed, the little gesture of saying ¨Hello dear, how can I help you today?¨ just as I enter a bakery or some random shop in the neighbourhood. 3 years was not enough time , if it was not for the financial crisis I probably would have stayed there longer. I know that it depends where you live in Britain, but it just felt less cynical where I lived and worked at that time and like people genually cared. Of course I have people here in the Netherlands that care as well as back home in Norway, but somehow it felt more real over there on that island. I guess what it could have been is that people were just a tad less busy or they took their time to see you. Or maybe it is just me that fell in love with the country and the culture, it was certainly not the public transport nor the roads that were pasted together with plastic. Nor was it the English way of seducing at the local bar, because trust me those lines get old..... and just like the conversation it is short-lived and uneventful at its best. 

I sometimes think I just romanticized England and that if I would move back I would miss the Netherlands just as much as I miss England now. In so many countries I have friends, but the best ones are divided over England, Norway and NL and soon Canada as well. There are not enough of me to go everywhere but I am hoping to pay a short visit to England in the next few months.

I went there when was it now....a few years ago to see my friends and that time i stayed in London. I must say I do prefer Oxford and Cambridge any day. London has 7 mill. people and that is too much for this Viking which is somewhat used to her personal space....of at least 1 meter. Clearly my immune-system was also used to that because it broke down as soon as I got into my hotel room. I had the flue the entire time while there and I felt so bad for my friend Chris and Emilie , they had to see me at the worst. Then again being sick around friends is not the worst thing I can think of. 

To consider other destinations will hopefully be possible soon. I just need to find a job or a promotion that pays me enough so I can travel and pay my bills and publish. As I get older I get more impatient with these kind of things, but hopefully one day I will get my chance to combine my interests, passions and work. It remains a dream, an international fairytale of mine. I know my fairytale did not end with graduating with an university degree, it was just the start of it.

Getting lost in the Amsterdam ¨ghetto¨

Dear Readers,

This week I am a lucky lady. I get to dog-sit no less than prince Louie. Although it keeps me very busy next to my other job I love his company. He is a bit of a whiner, he cries like a baby now and then yet after a few minutes of ignoring him he gives up and pops by for a cuddle (if more people were this way:P). Now that my friend is priceless. I believe animals, education, patience and openness can help cure a lot of problems in this world.

Speaking of which, while dog-sitting I am staying in a area of Amsterdam that has had its share of challenges. Can you believe I got lost here on my 2nd day getting back from work in the freaking dark??! 

Me and my friends joke that it is the ghetto sometimes, only because people get shot here occasionally. Like last week a guy got shot with a machine gun 1km from where I am dog-sitting. For a small-town gall like me it is rather shocking to hear even-though I know there are other parts of the world that face far greater challenges than this. Even if I have been through a lot of things before, such as violence, force and other unpleasant moments I still felt a bit hesitant when I heard about the man with the machine gun. Besides that I have also experienced a fair amount of badly behaved people on the streets. I will not name one culture for this because that would not be fair, but I can tell you all of them were men with a twisted idea of what a woman is and what a woman wants. Several people might say it was probably just my perspective on things or I was dressing wrong or whatever to take away the nagging thought in the back of their head ...that some people just are not decent or nice.

However, despite my unpleasant experiences with some men from certain cultures and people getting shot in this ¨ghetto¨ I am glad I decided to dog-sit here. You see, there is beauty everywhere and yes it is even here in the so called ¨small-ghetto¨ of Amsterdam. Like the morning walks with Louie to the doggy-daycare when the frost still bites into my skin and the air is filled with winter fog. Or when I leave the doggy-daycare and run to catch the bus I might miss otherwise and meet a lovely strict looking lady that still turns into a smile when I say ¨GOOD MORNING madame¨! Or when I get off that bus to catch Tram 17 to work and then miss it because it broke or something silly like that and I get this awesome view in the winter-cold.The lady that can not stand up in the tram because her legs do not work but will do so anyway because the tram is full-packed, her grandchild is with her and she has pride from Earth to the Moon. 

                                   ¨Waiting for Tram 17 that came 2 times but just kept driving....¨

Several people might assume I am either funny, black-and-white minded or even blanc up there.... that I do not see, smell, taste or feel  the world around me. That I make up my mind and it can not be changed. Though I sometimes feel uneasy about this I do not think this matters because deep down I know very well who I am and how I work. I enjoy being wrong because it teaches me new things, I do not like finger-pointing though. 

This morning I stood next to 2 ¨suspicious looking¨ men while making an attempt to catch a tram for the 2nd time this morning. One of them looking like a guy that attempted to rape me back home in Norway. The men spoke another language,no clue which one I just stood there and listened to them. It sounded like singing and it took me back in time for a moment. After 10min the tram came and despite the tram being packed to the brim and the men waited longer than me in the freezing cold, they let me go first. In my eyes this is what heals old wounds, kindness and not pointing fingers or anger nor lecturing people about what they should or should not feel. Kindness is key in my eyes, intent means nothing without a sufficient amount of kindness and even here in the ¨mini-ghetto¨ of Amsterdam there is plenty of that to fight the bad days.

Laters xxxx Annie