Just my Friday Contemplations

Hola,

We live in such a strange world. I look around me and sure, I want to conclude that it can be good this strangeness. Yet I find it hard to say. The words just get stuck like a dryness in my mouth. Not because of my own hurdles, but because I know of people who have way bigger struggles than I have. I also know people with less. No, the reason I find it hard to picture our world growing into something better or awesome is simply one good look around me. I am so lucky to live in Norway and not have war pulled down over my head like a size zero sweater. Too many people starving, war ridden, running from terror and dying to get at the very least a roof over their head in a place where hate does not drive their families into their grave. It is strange to sit here and listen to the eternal rain hitting the roof and the winds pushing the tree back and forth outside the window in the living room knowing people, small kids are out at sea drowning just to have tried to get to Europe and a better life than what they had. I also think about research, documentaries and the papers I have read about what the causes are for these desperate attempts. The symptoms of a dying planet and the growing hate and division of people. I am not sure knowing stuff always make you happy, but I know that not knowing would be strange as well in our digital age. I think that our planet as we know it will change forever and it is happening right now, spreading like a wild fire through dry grass. When people get desperate and scared it is easy to say and do desperate things, when we are too many it is easy to overlook one head, two small hands reaching for a simple commodity as still water is. To risk the most basic you have, your own life to save the most important people in your life...would you do it? 

Sometimes I wonder, would any of my family members do that for me? I mean if it came down to that desperate decision , would my life be worth more than I think it to be? 

The research tell us natural resources, climate and species all around the world are already in a bad way. Why is it, that we who have the money and privilege keep disregarding the signs of a dying planet?? Or even more important , why do we do so little to save the lives of our children that will live in this earth after us? We can never know for sure what the future will hold, we could get hit by a comet or have some super-volcano erupt... yet we do know 100% the planet is in a bad way, we know people suffer as a result of poverty and shortly put, hate. All of us can contribute to lessen those 3 facts.

It is a horrendous cycle of a few factors:

1) Poverty and overpopulation- lack of resources and lack of knowledge

2) Corruption and war - bad politics

3) Use of technology that pollute and kill important key habitats and species

4) Capitalistic focus in i-countries leading to use of unethically produced products and deterioration of natural resources.

I could draw these points into a circle , because they feed each other and affect each other. Not to be negative but there is no upward spiral here. A country with a lot of poverty will see negative effects on their governmental institutions, their loved ones and natural resources. Bad politics is an effect of impossible expectations and promises in a place where people have nothing left to hope for but change. The people who get into a powerful position in poor countries often walked over corpses to get rich enough to get there. They lied to people because they know they are desperate for just THAT little piece of hope. Sadly the win of political power often starts a new cycle of war and corruption leading ...essentially to no real change at all.

The real tragedy is that it takes a lot to get a country out of such as cycle, yet it is damn easy to end up in poverty. That fear of loosing the so called upper hand, that is the seed of corruption and division.  The start of ¨they¨ and ¨not us¨.... ¨our culture¨, ¨their traditions¨.

It is easy to fear the unknown. Norway has not been a rich country for long, about 5 mill. people, it is a big country and has a lot of natural resources and fossil fuels... easy money, quick money... unethical earnings. The oil barons are scared to loose their income and their employees are as well. They know what effects they have on other people in other parts of the world and they know the ultimate sacrifice. Where fear goes, corrupted thoughts follow. Time and time again documentaries and research shows us the same answers time and time again. As long as we keep overpopulating the world and some keep the fear of loosing materialistic things I will be honest and say I do not see any break in the bad cycle. You never know though, maybe that super volcano will be less of a curse after all?

There is no point ignoring the world we live in. We are all inn it together, like it or not. Reality is what it is and just because some people choose to turn away does not make the challenges we face go away. I do not hate people who think differently, just think ignorance is bliss and fear is fear...

There you go, there is my typical brain storm on a Friday evening. It will not change the world, but I cannot let it go.

xo Viking

September Adventures in Malaga

Hi there,

My last post was rather critical and about things of the past. It has been a hectic time med illness and other negative things after I got back from Spain. Due to all the surreal things happening and still going in I forgot to write about my time in Malaga. So I thought, let´s do it now! :)

We flew to Malaga on the 12th of September. It was very rainy as we left the Quality Hotel near Stavanger Airport. For breakfast we had watched the planes take off in the rain. We took a taxi to the airport which took about 5min. Our plane was of course having some delays so we waited at the gate for some time, yet we did not care. The very first time going to Spain for me and going on a longer trip to an unknown country with the boyfriend so I was more nervous and excited about that fact than anything else. We had invited some friends of us to join us on the sunshine coast of Spain but we were told they had other plans and that they were in Luxenburg when we planned to go and not days left to take a holiday from work. Bummer but we thought nothing more of it, because it is rather common these things. What we did not know was that these friends were planning a trip to Malaga as well and they surprised us at the airport! It was so funny. The moment I got a Snap picture of the back of our heads waiting at the gate I turned and saw their faces smiling back at us. Totally confused we started laughing. It was the start of an awesome trip I thought. 

I was right, the trip was amazing and I have no clue why I had let my past make me nervous about travelling with my lovely man. We rented an apartment in the city centre, it was right next to the harbour, train station and main bus stops. We landed in the sunshine and 33 degrees Celsius! Loved it!

Due to traffic and rebuilding of the roads going through the city centre it was hard to find the apartment by car. So we jumped off in the shopping street and walked to our block. It was an old piece of architecture and a beauty of a building. 

We stayed there for 2 weeks in the sunshine and went to visit numerous historical places. There were so many places to see and several beautiful religious buildings that were artwork in my eyes and very interesting sites to check out.

One of the days we went to a ¨the castle on the hill¨ called Castillo Gibralfaro and that was some hike I can tell you right now. In 34 degrees in the shade we climbed up the tiles in the sunshine and at the very top we had this wonderful view seen below! Just an amazing feeling to experience with someone you love.

We also went to the beach of course but mostly we were there for the experience of a new culture, architecture and food. The sunshine was also important, the past years I have not had a real summer and so this time I wanted to feel the warmth on my skin again and wear a dress. Silly as that sounds it did me good to wear a bikini and get the D-vitamins my body was longing for.

It was not just that, I have not since I was 15 had a summer holiday that was longer than 1 week. Because I have been working or helping people whenever off from work or studies it was simply needed to find the calmness within and to try to mend my health. 

And boy we had such a good time. Every day I felt myself skipping down the street and looking for the next adventure. We went to the Picasso museum and learned new things about the artist and his paintings and sculptures we did not know before.We ate a lot of Spanish and Italian food and we even found a vegetarian restaurant in the city centre. The service it Spain was either good or bad, some places you would be treated like royalty whilst others you would be ignored or treated horribly even by the waiters. I often found the recommended restaurants filled with tourists so we started not going to those unless having no choice. Overall the Italian restaurants were pretty good in service, food and price-wise. The local and small scale Spanish restaurants were also pretty good.  All the fish restaurants my friends tried were horrible and had little choice for vegetarian or willingness to fry just vegetables. My advice would be stay away from fish places, they were expensive and had foul food. I had a tomato salad at one of these places, it tasted like raw fish....horrible ! It was 1 sliced tomato with some salt and balsamico and it costed over 10 euro so nope not my cup of tea.

Except for that, Spain was great. I loved it and will go back for sure! We visited the botanical garden Carmino del Jardin Botanico and it was wonderful and had lovely food and service at a good price. Entering the botanical garden costed 5 euro for both of us and the food we got served was organic and locally grown vegetables. It was around 10 euro for the goat-cheese salad and around us were such colourful beauty and botanical artwork almost taking our breath away. We even saw a lizzard passing us as we strolled through the gardens. It was a very old and sometimes we caught ourselves feeling like we travelled back in time.

They even had a barbie house dedicated to the family that used to own the gardens and a lot of historical buildings in memory of the royal holiday resort which it was back in the 1800´s. It was warm in the gardens, we found places to cool down in the shade and read about the history behind the gardens on information boards situated around the huge facility. I would go there again! To have gone to Spain and spend a whopping 2 weeks in the sun did me good. We got to go on an adventure together and got to swim in culture and got to see fragments of history which a lot of people seem to forget exists in Malaga. 

We will be back ;) This was just the type of travel I love<3

xo Viking

#metoo

Dear Readers,

Many of you have seen and re-posted this metoo tag online and some of you might still wonder what it is about. Media is covering it as well and it is a tag highlighting just how many women (online) around the world have experienced sexual harassment or rape.

Sadly I kind of feel it is a tag trend as well. Because the real tragedy is that  the online women might talk about the sexual harassment and rape as adults online, yet there is a little girl going to school right now getting harassed or raped and the teachers, adults and friends around her is turning their chin away. They all pretend it is not happening. Whether or not this is because it scares them or because they freeze just like that little girl I am not sure.

My story is one of those where the teacher turned away and so did peers for many odd years. It has affected me greatly and due to this and other circumstances as well  I struggle to trust and confide in people. It is easier on a sheet of paper or on a page I will not lie. I still remember the first time I experienced sexual harassment like it was yesterday, even without the hashtag I see the faces of the guys which put bets on who dared touch my boobs and ass. Dark haired, ginger and blonde... I remember how angry I got and how the shame just flushed over me because everybody saw what they did to me in the schoolyard! I kind of wished no one saw as silly as that sounds, it would have been less of a betrayal and maybe I would have still had some faith in friends and family. But no such luxury and result is a person who does not trust anyone entirely. I often landed myself in fights due to some arse of a boy touching me or making me look like something dirty. First time I must have been 13 years and the worst part was that girls thought these guys were cool and at times they even copied the lads that were harassing me. My exterior self showed an angry and feisty lass, but the school toilets showed many suppressed tears and anxiety attacks. #Metoo means people talk  about and highlight sexual harassment and that I suppose is good, but the damage is already done. Yet I ask you.... today if you suspect that a kid is being harassed  or touched at school in such a nasty way...what will you do? Or if you look out the window as you are eating your lunch and you see a girl from your class punching a lad in the face because he just grabbed her from behind...for a 10Eur note or a cigarette from the rest of the crowd...WHAT will you do?? Will you speak out? Even if you have issues on your own? Will you truly? #MeToo , will it change the way we deal with uncomfortable or inconvenient truths? Or will we continue to chew and swallow the lunch and hope someone else dares to speak out? A hashtag will not change how it feels when you are let down or shamed I can tell you that right now. A hashtag is not  the rescue the young kids needs, a hashtag is just a hashtag , it is another trend or a result of something that should have never happened in the first place and I know it will never change the scars I am left with. It will never change the statistics I am now a part of. Yet I hope the stories behind it in some way or form will motivate you to take a break from your lunch and look out the window in a new light and stand up for that girl or boy. Tell the bullies that this is not something anyone deserves. The harassed might be strong but that does not mean they do not need your voice to help them.

xo

Viking

Traces

Hi Everybody,

Long time no typing. I do not really know where to start, but not to worry ya´ll because I am still in love and still feeling safe with the boyfriend :)  Health-wise I am still on a waiting list and still caught up in a slow moving system. It feels a lot like I do not even care much anymore, I just want answers to what is going on with my immune-system and get some tests done that have been a long time coming. If they cannot get them next time I do not know how strong I can stay anymore. It is troubling not to know why certain things are occuring out of the blue and to have a fair bit of health issues affecting my day-to-day life. Very much looking forward to moving to a big city again. Longing for Stavanger and staring a new study as well as better doctors and healthcare systems. Next year it all begins, a new adventure and hopefully even more joy and good news than what I have had in 2017.

I know certain things will be though, they always are (what was that word again..called easy I think...nah still have not had the pleasure to meet it yet...;). Yet I am in a place where I feel mentally strong when it comes to challenging myself and developing my own intellect. I want to get better, to be a better person than what I have been in the past. I want to be smarter and more open. To not let the past shut me down ever so often as in the past. I will admit it is not easy to change my ways. I often find myself caught between 2 sides when trying to mend things or highly criticised when trying to be open and honest. I mean it when I say that I deep in my soul do not wish to hurt anyone. I try to understand certain people eventhough they might hurt me or cause me grief. Because if I understand then maybe it hurts less, this has not always been the case. People are odd, especially those you hold close. Some waste your time or at the very least do not respect your time. Others well they twist around their own axes not noticing that the clouds they create makes them see less of the clear blue sky nor the lightning that strikes what used to be their favourite spot. Understanding people can be so hard and trying to be patient and understanding even harder. I try to turn to people like my bfs mother who is such a lovely lady and ever so patient with everyone it seems. I look to people who show kindness instead of envy and I strive to be less emotional in the negative sense and solve my problems less impulsive.  Those are really my most weak points, that when I get hurt I either fight or run, I prefer to run, run , run because anything else cause me great stress or panic. This is of course not true in every situation, but when hurt badly surely and especially hurts caused by the people I love or that stand very close to me. I hope to evolve and to become better but building up patience is hard, people are hard to be with sometimes. I am also hard to be with sometimes. At times I also lose a hold of what is the right way to react, especially when I feel anxious about a situation or pick up on a really bad vibe. Working on becoming better is the only way to be truly happy for me. 

                                                                                           ( My charming feline Oct , 2017)

                                                            

Think about the traces we leave on people´s hearts. I sometimes wonder what mine will be, if I suddenly left this earth who would miss me and more importantly what kind of trace would I have left on someone´s heart. Family or friends or even past friends not in my life anymore. I think about that alot, it matters to me and I am not sure why if that makes sense. Is it really a good thing to ponder on those things? Not too sure, but I know I can be better at so many things. I cannot say it enough. Even if I am a hard nut sometimes, the nut has a heart. It has been cracked open many times, glued back together and smashed again and again. I thought it would be impossible to glue it back together one more time but I have been so very lucky. If only this was the last time it had to be glued together. One can only hope, but I chose to think this time it will last. :)

                                                                  (Winter arrived on the scrubs in Buer Valley, Oct 2017)

xo

Viking