Norway trip drawing closer

Dear Readers,

After a somewhat private post yesterday it is time to share a more positive prospect today. The 31st of July the bf and I are going to Norway. It will be the first time he ever goes and meeting the family so we are quite excited and slightly nervous all at the same time. Norway to me holds many things, not just family but adventure in the sense that nature just comes crashing down on you so much it is bound to take your breath away. You can get lost, you may see bears, wolves and wolverines and the air is fresh. So fresh it feels like nectar filling your lungs and taking all the cityshit out of them as you breathe out. There is alsmost no end to the green and countryside and city melts together. You know your neighbour where I come from, you talk to them regurlary and you invite them over now and then and they come. Where I grew up there are mountains that tower over you and they remind you that you are nothing more but a small molecule in this vast universe. When I was young I hate climbing mountains, because they reminded me how unsignificant I am. They made me feel imperfect and that was a challenge I could not face at that time in my life. As I got older a wise old Icelander told me 'YOU WALK THE MOUNTAIN LIKE A TROLL! AS IF YOU WANT TO MASTER IT WITH YOUR FEET BUT ALL YOU DO IS SPEND ALL YOUR ENERGY ON A SMALL PIECE GIRL!''

That little Annie was only 17 years old and angry at the world. So the Icelander decided to say something and he woud have no idea how much that would change her mindset. Since then I have learned that climbing a mountain is small steps and not strides. And you do not fight the mountain you find the right path for you and you enjoy every step and challenge you meet. If you get tired it is a lesson learned: you forgot what the trip demands of you and you did not visit the mountain in too long. For every step the mountain makes you stronger and for every turn there is always something new. Brittle bridges over small streams are worth an ambitious jump.

               ODDA (2011)

        

11 years later the angry girl is gone I think. She looks forward to the perspective the moutnains offer her. She sees a oportunity to view the world below in birdview and to enjoy the full picture. Humbleness is no greater than when you sit on top of a mountain looking down and knowing how small the world really is in the great big whole. The west is known for it's challengin weather , fjords and apple gardens and but it's mountains can sometimes be underestimated.

Looking forward to sharing this piece of my past with a person I know will love it.

x Viking

Voids

Do you ever have those moments when life is so busy and then it is quiet all of the sudden just because you thought the weekend needed to be for once. It is one of those moments in which the thoughts travel whilst the body stays. I was always that kind of girl who could get lost in thought and it was not always a good thing. This is why I keep busy as much as I can, my thoughts are not always comforting and they sometimes suck me into a lonley place. I like people around , I like traveling and surrounding myself with things that inspire me to be a better version of myself. To strive for something better and not get stuck. When I speak I hear imperfection , a faulty feature to be altered into something more pleasing. In fact, whenever there is too much sillence I look back on my past and think about and worry slightly how my future will look like. Will it be a recollection of my current expereinces or will it be a wonder and lead me in a better direction?

I spoke to a new friend not too long ago about lonelyness. To feel lonely does not mean you do not have enough lovely people surrounding you, at least that is my experience. I think loneliness comes from within, or maybe it is a feeling you got used to in the end. A feeling connected to memories of being left behind and leaving a life behind without any takes. Yes it must be like that.

I am lucky as a girl can be, I have had one heck of a life and feel old at times because of what I went through and yet I feel like I havent seen nothing yet....nothing at at all. I like to fill my void with wonderful people and experiences, to put away the fighter in me and replace it with the pleaceful lady I feel I am becoming slowly but surely. Patience is more needed now, and gratitude for what I am actually taking inn in this current of happiness. Whilst a part of me whisper a question I often have whenever good things happen to me: ¨Do I relally deserve this? Will it be gone in a second?¨ 

It is a rather private contemplation , but I wanted to share it. Sometimes  even social or talkative people feel haunted memories and loneliness. I sure know I can be difficult to relate to at times and I do not share too much when I first meet people. For those of you that have moments like these it is ok to think about it, but do not let it get you down. I always wished I had someone to tell me how to deal with those feelings when I was a teen, sadly I didn't... There are many out there with the same feeling and the bad feeling will go away everytime you go out in the world to achieve something great and when you are busy and when you meet new people that makes you dimples appear. Those little moments when you are laughing with friends over a glass og Rose and dry white are golden to me, I would have them anyday over money or a good job because I know their true worth as I am sure kids and teeners and adults out there will or have discovered as well.

Keep holding on to the good memories when they are needed the most. They weigh out the bad stuff. If you do not have many good memories however, you need to find ways to make them. Anything is possible :) I know this.

                                           I went jogging here today (Haarlem)

Today has been a rather productive day until a few hours ago. I went shopping for a shelf in my room with my flatmate and then I went jogging after doing some cleaning. I found out jogging in Haarlem is niiiice. Tomorrow I think I will bike to Bloomendal national park and visit IKEA later as I need some things from there. This city has everything one needs I think. Today I found this hilly island and a lake ! It was around five o clock however, it felt like it was midday due to the heat. Everyday I reveal more treasures in this new home of mine. I like it more then I was expecting to actually. Is it finally peace in my life or what? :)


x Viking

First BBQ in Haarlem

Hello readers,

As many of you know I had a housewarming BBQ last weekend. Colleagues and friends were invited and Noelia and I actually cooked! :P Yes you read it right, both of us made something! I made a pasta, something to nibble on, a salad and veggie stuff for the grill. Each person that came to the party brought food or drinks or both. The Spanish team from work brought lots of food and wine and it was good too because I can tell you there were many people. Some people from the British team also came, yet it was mostly people from ATS and the Spanish team that came and some from the Nordics. Most people came with a partner and of course my bf was also there.

It was a really nice BBQ, I could not have asked for a more cozy evening. Good wine, drinks, nice people and let's not forget the nice food that was made! Everyone contributed something to the BBQ and our house certainly got warmed up. I especially enjoyed a grilled mango with pepper on it, couscous and tzatziki on it with a dry white wine. And of course I really enjoyed the company, I like being around people and to get to know new people. 

The next few weeks will be spent planning the holiday to Norway and to acquire a cat. After everything that happened these last 12 months I have decided it has to happen and the ones that know me well know the story and know it will probably happen in July or August. It will be an oldish cat from the shelter and most likely the shelter were I used to work. I miss my dog Darwin a lot, but unfortunately I have met a wall with my ex and can not see the dog anymore. It is sad and frustrating of course yet I can not do much about it and I have to accept that it is like this. Instead I will spend my energy on helping animals that need me more at this moment in time and this time the cat will be in my name only. Thus much I have learned from the pasts brittle mistakes.

Looking ahead the next few months will be interesting, I am settling into my new 'warmed-up' home, traveling to see family and old friends again and I am looking forward to hug my granddad again. It has been too long now and so much has happened since I saw them last. Being Norwegian I guess we will not share too intimate details but I just want to hug them as soon as I get the chance!

Furthermore, I am getting trained in new instruments and services in the weeks and months ahead for my job and in-between I am also working the phones when people have trouble with their instruments.

I can only hope that this finally means my life is back on tracks a bit. Because woaw this roller coaster has been stressful yet I am very lucky, it so nice to have someone by my side that supports me and sure as heck makes everything so much easier to face. I feel very happy and finally like I am where I was supposed to be. Everyday I meet new people and make new friends, life is a bit slow but right now that is perfect for me and exactly what I needed.

xxx VIKING

Summer is coming !

Dear Readers,

Since I still have no wifi in the new house my posts will be somewhat limited, but hopefully by tomorrow it will be alright and then I can get some more blog-posts out there.  I am guessing that I would not have had time to use the wifi anyway with all the things that has had to be sorted the last month either way.

My flatmate and I are currently planning a house warming BBQ whilst getting things in the house sorted. Saturday we get friends and colleagues over from all kinds of nationalities. Everyone are bringing something to eat or drink or both so that part is pretty much covered. I am gonna try to make an Italian dish myself, but let's see if it will be edible in the end. Let's just not try to even imply that I am somewhat of a chef or foodie, because I am as far from that as I am from climbing the mount Everest! I think it will be pretty great and I am expecting the weather to be at it's best behaviour ....

The house is big enough to host quite a big party, yet places to sit are limited. Let's see what happens, I am guessing it will be ok anyway as long as there is enough food and blankets aaaand wine! :D 

Further down on the agenda for July-August there is the plan to adopt an old cat. Since my ex decided it was time I stopped meeting my dog I have decided to turn my misery surrounding this absurd case into a good thing. I will help the old cats in shelters from now on. A friend of mine does that and I always wanted to help the old or shy elderly cats and I guess this is a perfect opportunity to do so. Leaving the sad residue of my past life behind and look forward as they say, but I will be honest and say that has NOT been an easy decision. I have had inner battles with this and external ones as well, but at some point I guess it cause more harm than good to cling onto it and fight.

Right now I want to make sure I can use my skills, care and love on what I do best instead of hopeless cases which gets me nowhere. 

I am blessed to have met awesome people in my new life and met the most wonderful guy a girl could ever ask for. It makes everything more warm, hopeful , sunny and bright. As if the clouds that covered my "view" get lifted and I can feel the rays warm my skin again. In stressful times, people like this make me strong and everything difficult falls away a bit, if not for good then at least for long enough to get back on my feet and brush of the dust from my knees. 

Summer has really entered my life in many ways than one. And I think it came just in the nick of time.

x Viking!

Haarlem!

Dear Readers,

So sorry for the long wait and silence. I have been busy with my new job , boyfriend and I have moved to Haarlem while I was away. I also had to deal with a few things on the private front which was not always that pleasant.

However, despite some unpleasant things I must say life for me is not all that bad at all. Some "kinks in the road" are to be expected in life in general and have been lucky to meet the most awesome people the last few months. I have also moved into a big house with a colleague were we are allowed to have animals. In the end of this month we will have a housewarming BBQ in our garden which I think will be really nice. Some Spanish flavors, nice friends and colleagues and fun stuff happening and let's not forget to mention the wifi will be working by then! Hehehehe Who knew no internet could make us so "handicapped". I have never been more social, more effective than now without TV nor WIFI!.

But back to Haarlem, it is a small side town of Amsterdam which has more charm than you would every imagine. As I wrote before it has historical buildings and a very nice shopping streets. Lifte there feels safe, green and spiced up by the "mad hatters" you tend to walk into here and there. Haarlem takes care of those people in society that has become homeless for one reason or the other. Many have been addicts or has a mental disorder etc. This is something I find nice, a community that takes care of each other.

On a sunny Saturday you can stroll down the old brick streets you find in the very centre of Haarlem amongst other things they surround the wonderfully breathtaking Sint Bavo church from the 15th century. This church has little houses attached to the side of it which used to be markets and trade shops as well as a library which you will find on the south side. It actually used to be a catholic cathedral in the early 15hundreds before the protestants kicked them out and took over. The catholics rather built another St. Bavo Cathedral. This "new" cathedral looks amazing and can be found in the south-east of Haarlem or to be more precise you can find it on this address: Leidsevaart 146, 2014 HE Haarlem!

I still have to go see it, I only saw it from the train as I was going to Leiden and when I was sipping my cup of cappuccino in the centre with my lovely man. The towers reminds me of Notre Dame and in the sun the shadows of the gothic structures dance on them as if they have a story to tell. The green roof has a peace and wonder to it and it creates and admiration in me for the people who actually constructed the darn thing! It is huge and beautiful (said the architecture geek!)

But I guess pictures speak louder than words so here you are!

x Viking