Imagine

Hello there,

Not much has changed since my last post, the only thing that keeps changing is how I feel about leaving the Netherlands. To draw a simple pros and cons list as to why I should leave just does not cut it. Because not matter what, if I could I would stay. 

In my mind I have kind of, sort of come to terms with moving back to Norway. Yet I do not know how long I will stay in my homeland and maybe that is what makes me feel more at ease with it. I tell myself I will get my life back on track and travel the world like I always wanted to.

Maybe it is just me who does not feel my life is enough in order to remove the stamp chaotic, maybe it is just me and a few handful of people that sees it this way. Because I always pictured my life to have a direction by now both career-wise and relationship-wise. Of course, you could argue that these kind of things are difficult if not impossible to plan (But you are damb right if you guessed I would have loved to plan it just a little!) though, it would have been nice to know kind-of which way I should turn and what I should expect.

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever find this calmness everyone keeps talking about. This notion that I am heading towards something, a goal. It seems that I have in this chaos of moments crashing against each other, that I have lost my way, my outlook in life. My fear is that moving back home will screw this up even more, though to say my life could get more fucked up than it is now is hard to imagine.

Yet I am not looking for a saviour or anything like that. I am looking for a lucky break and motivation and means to actually find the way back and see the bigger picture of my life take form. It is a deep-rooted wish to find out how and where to proceed further, just so I can find some peace within myself.

Until I find my answers I think I will be more quiet on the blog. Will probably write a few pieces here and there, but not really too much about myself or personal stuff. I would also like to thank all of you who have sent me e-mails and messages wishing me well and supporting me in this difficult time.

xx Viking

Terror -the new worldwar

Hi there,

As many of you know there has been a terror attack in Brussels in Belgium. Yet again the west is facing fear, unexpected loss of lives and uncertainty. As an expat who knows people both from Brussels and the rest of Belgium it is horrific to feel it so close to home. These sneaky suicide missions that keeps creeping up on our governments and people are unfortunately not the works of cowards but I believe desperate people and people who have completely lost their way. They are humans like you and me who by the course of their lives got manipulated and pushed into a belief so backwards that it has twisted their morals. 

Behind the terror are master minds that crave not religious salvation but money and power to make more puppets carry out their war agenda. Because it is a war, maybe it is even appropriate to say we are experiencing the start of a 3rd world war at the moment. So many countries have been struck and are involved in fighting terror-cells that just keep growing because they have funding to grow. In the background companies who create weapons, bombs and strategies are thriving. And whilst people are dying everyday in Syria and other war-ridden countries some economies secretly grow as a result of the increase of suffering.

Yesterday a train got stopped right next to my previous work-place, it was heading to Brussels. The intent of stopping a suspect drove the police to evacuate the train in search of the person. Some sources say people were evacuated at gunpoint by the police. In Amsterdam another suspect was seized by the local police, not clear yet why but it happened a few hours after the terror attack. The Netherlands has more police in the streets, especially Amsterdam and the regions surrounding it. Fear is in the air, similar to the fear that the Syrian people have felt when the war broke out there. Yet we are only feeling a slight fraction of what the Syrian fugitives have been feeling since then. This is another issue we have at the moment, there are so much anxiety surrounding letting fugitives into our countries due to the concern of an increase of terror attacks. Yet the REAL problem is not the desperate people that blow themselves up, but the companies and governments that financially support these terror cells.

The question is, who will we be in this war? The people who let fear ride us and deny helping those in need of it? Or be the generous and helpful people which just happen to be living in some of the wealthiest countries of this world. To understand that some people have lost everything (even their family) and seen brutal killings and bombs on a daily basis. Maybe our kindness and support to a stranger can make a change in attitudes and negative incentives. After all who would you be in a war? 

Hope is an underestimated feeling, but handed to the right people it can make a whole lot of change. It can make us stronger in the movement against terror and it certainly can make a difference to so many lives.

keep safe, keep kind

xViking

No Longer Viking Abroad

Hello folks,

So this will change everything, a decision has been made and tickets have been booked. The 15th of May I will stop being the Norwegian abroad in the Netherlands and start being just an ordinary Viking.

The last weeks and months have been hard, harder than I could even manage to describe to you on paper. I have fought it for longer than my body could take and my money could reach but yesterday the day had come when I had to order the tickets that define the ending of an era. The long fight to stay and trying to make a career in the Netherlands have come to an end. Last year I was almost at this point when I found a special reason to fight extra hard. That reason is gone yet I did my uttermost to find a job and stay anyway, my friends that I made here after all these years are so valuable to me you see. They have been there as a family I could have never even hoped for. I said it to one of the most awesome ladies I have met down here a few weeks ago...in the end I would become a burden without income for them as well, in the end I have to think of what is best to do for me right now and after a lot of problems with my part-time position and not getting enough hours to work for a shit-pay I have come to the conclusion that I have to move back to the land that I call home but does not yet feel like it.

There have been so many memories created in the Netherlands, good moments and bad. There have been exciting nights out with friends. Adventures and trips around the country and there have been more than one heartbreaking story about loves lost. This move will be a new beginning and a chance to spend more time with my family which I have seen little of the past years. It will be a chance to re-build and find means to start my own business and focus on getting better. Health has not been the best since I came to the Netherlands and doctors have done little to help me out there and that also goes for the employers I have worked for. Maybe the fresh Norwegian air is just what I need?

I was not ready to let go of the Netherlands up until I had the last blow 2 weeks ago and that made my decision easier. Another factor is that I found a place I can stay in Norway while I get back on my feet. It will be so strange to go back, but in the end there are several positive aspects to going back as well the way I see it. Because right now I am exhausted from all the everlasting fight I have had. There is no doubt I will miss a whole lot of people but I can only hope I have made good and rich enough friends to come visit me once I am back on track ;)

Even if I was supposed to make a post about the political aspects and how the Dutch capitalistic model has made it difficult for expats to find a decent job, take care of their health and start a business I will have to save that for later. Because it is still too soon for me to write about it, there is still too much emotions surrounding the whole ordeal. Right now, I choose to focus on the good things about moving back rather than the bad, because the truth is I would not be able to handle a lot of bad news at this moment. Though I feel confident I will have to make things work in the best way I can I feel fragile and especially if I were to have more ¨blows¨ right now. So looking at things in the bright way is the only option I have at this moment. 

Sorry does not cover it, my stress levels this year has affected my mood rather a lot the last months and every defeat on the job front did not make me any better. Sorry does not cover how it feels to leave my friends like this and having prepare that I probably will not see many of them again though I would wish to.

Sorry does not cover how much I regret yet still love the fact that I came to the Netherlands 5 years ago with no clue what I was getting myself into. Sorry does not cover how I feel inside about the decision I have made and the people I will have to look in the eyes and say goodbye to.

Positive, that I will hug my granddad and grandmother superhard when I see them! Positive, I will see my best friend again as well! Positive, that I will give my nieces and nephews the time and attention they deserve and excited I get to gossip with my sister again and the rest of my siblings. So I might no longer be the Viking abroad any more and I might not be a part of the liberal culture and art that the Dutchies have created, but I get a lot back in terms of moments, feelings and who knows, maybe careerwise. 

xxViking

Rotterdam March 2016 (A.Westerheim) ¨I will miss it!¨

Traditions, Habits and a Maria Mena Concert

Hello there,

It has been a weird week and I will write something about that in my next post. First though, I would like to dedicate a post to yesterday´s awesome event! I went to the Maria Mena concert in Amsterdam at Paradiso. Although the wait was rather long and I am quite the claustrophobic it was totally worth the it all.  Even my hurting kidneys were forgotten as miss Mena opened her mouth and let out these beautiful tones I have not heard in a long time! She has so much charisma and she sings about the reality she sees and feels, which is why her words has such a grip on you when you hear them live as well as through speakers.

Maria Mena is Norwegian like me, she is very humble and funny on stage. Last year Robert and I also saw her sing at De Duif and back then it was a more intimate concert as opposed to yesterday at Paradiso. The concert was sold out and the old church which is made into a nightclub/event hall was packed to the brim! People sang, danced and cried because the words carries so much power and truth in them! So Robert and I sang with as we tend to when we hear miss Mena sing. I pretty much forced him to take pictures because silly me I had forgotten my phone in the pocket of my coat which was stored in the lockers. 

I think a lot of people recognize themselves in Miss Mena´s lyrics. Yesterday, she entered the room with so much good energy and this huge smile, one could not help but to get sucked into the moment.

     Copyright: Robert van Leeuwen

When the tickets got realised in October this year I got a nudge from Rob and he asked if I wanted to join. I thought, what the heck let´s do it! I kind of forgot about it for a while and then the day was suddenly here. A perfect way to spend my Tuesday evening in Amsterdam. Very inspiring to see Miss Mena and her band play and all of the people watching her and getting emotional. Music is life described with the wonderful colours that tunes paint it in the frames of it with. The colours are emotions that drives us up and down and back and forth and I cannot recall any kind of more complete way of describing them then through music. Miss Mena does this exceptionally well, the way she writes and sings certainly makes me go into a kind of bubble and get in touch with my own emotions.

    Copyright: Robert van Leeuwen

 Copyright: Robert van Leeuwen

Painful kidneys or not, Amsterdam or somewhere in Norway...Robert and I decided that this must become a tradition! So who knows might next concert with Miss Mena be in Norway....it all depends how the next 7 days pan out. 

Stay tuned,

xx Viking

Blended week(end)

Hola folks,

It has been a busy week and there have been some bad peeks and some good ones as well. Monday I started bad. I still have not got my contract for the part-time job. That has not changed either and Friday I was not feeling well and still not having got my contract I decided to stay home. Then the gemeente called and the woman Miss S. Decided it was in her place to tell me how poor she found my attitude when I started asking about the contract of the job Gemeente Haarlem has found for me. The promises that were made have not been upheld as of yet so I wanted to know what went wrong. I was told that I did not sound sick enough to stay home and that if I lost this job (which I have no contract or prospects for) she would make sure I felt the consequences for it! I had to contain myself not to laugh at her...I mean who the fuck does she think she is?? When was a civil servant allowed to threaten the very people they are supposed to help? And that just because you are sick and are asking questions about what happened to the contract after 3 weeks of not seeing it....at that moment I missed Norway...I missed it so bad that I cannot even express it in words. I was closed to breaking, could feel the seems of my brittle soul break a little. All I have done to not break the rules and I get pushed down by Miss.S, metaphorically I could not be more face down in the mud and she does that? Some social worker..... fuck that!

Instead of crying or breaking down I felt sick to the stomach and then got angry instead. Typical Viking...a multitude of emotions just forced into one single purpose...anger! Before I hung up on this very rude woman I wished her a good day of course and a very determined yet short DOEI! (BYE!) I am done taking crap from people, really so done with it and no one will make me feel like my efforts are shit. (Even though it is difficult to believe in myself at times!) It has come to this division of paths...either I find a new job or I leave the country with my cat. I rebuilt myself yet again, I start over yet again like I have numerous times before. One way or the other, I will find a way through this mud (face up) and this will all seem like a stupid bump in the road.

But that was Friday and the rest of the weekend was actually really good. Me and someone who has become a very good friend of mine spend most of the weekend cooking and walking in Bloemendal National Park. Then we took Freya to the vet to get her rabies shot and that also went really well. In Zandvoort aan Zee we stopped to eat at the seaside restaurant M.Meijer. Service was good and so was the food and the view was amazing of course! After the relaxing weekend (which is just what I needed to top up on the positive energy) I am ready to start a new week. Today I had to work and tomorrow as well, then Wednesday I have an interview for a fulltime job (crossing my fingers). A lot is up in the air and I just hope real hard that everything will be okay. I know I am not the only one experiencing hardship these days so I will put in some hope and crossed fingers for those others that have met the wall a bit like i have.

xx Viking

Ladies of music

Hello there,

Yesterday I met an awesome lady from the small African country called Gambia! This woman has sass I tell you and a big smile, straight away I had a good feeling about her. We work together and when I walked into the changing-room I saw a big smile waiting for me. We had a lot to speak about and it turns out despite the limited time we sat together before we went about with our daily tasks.

Some people just have music about them when you meet them. Not sure how else to explain it other than that with some people my mind attach music to their gestures, movement or personalities. And Miss J. she has lots of music to her personality.

We spoke about Gambia, Norway and the Netherlands and about her family. She loves her family and she proudly showed me a picture of them. She has absolutely beautiful children, I told her about my nieces and nephews and we spoke about how funny children can be.

I told her I wanted to visit Botswana, Tanzania and South Africa at some point and she told me I should. She laughed a deep laughter and told me it was for sure a good idea, because compared to Gambia (which is a tiny country) these other ones are rather large and full of wildlife and nature.

Today I am going to cook pizza for a friend and my house-mates and next week Tuesday is my long planned concert evening with my good friend Robert. Since October we had the tickets and finally the day is drawing near. Maria Mena makes fun and personal concerts so I am looking forward to hearing her beautiful voice again in good company.

Weekend plans are going to Bloemendaal or Zandvoort and then to the vet with Freya. Sunday I have to work at the hotel and then after that I will write some applications I think.  So my weekend is packed with events and I have to plan my return to Norway should I have to move back. A lot to think about these days, some days it feels like my brain will explode.

Until next time folks,

xxViking

My own curse is that I read between the lines...

Hello Dear Readers,

As many of you may or may not know I have been having a rough 6 months. Friends of mine have died, I have lost people I loved and even lost a job I really liked. In the big picture maybe all of these are things that should not matter, but to me they do and they have had an effect on how I look at life and relationships quite drastically.

The way things look I will probably go back to Norway in May. Not sure what will happen after that but I am terrified. It is like my future kind of just got wiped away in front of me and it is scary because I did everything in my power to succeed and to find happiness. 

I shall admit I have at times had to relax myself by putting my ¨head in the sand¨ (metaphorically of course!) and hoping that things would sort out. Not that I had the luxury of doing that for too long, but I guess I could have tried harder finding something if I could keep my eyes up for 24/7 only sending applications that is.

One of the many things going on at the moment is that my living situation is far from ideal, also my emotions are in limbo about a lot of things. It is my curse at times that I can read people so well, that I can read between the lines when something is going on or when someone is not telling me the truth. Few they know I see it, but deep inside of me I just hope so hard I am wrong. Of course people are complicated and no-one will ever be perfect. A person I once knew told me I read people very well, and further he told me it scared him at times, but why would this scare someone unless they have something to hide I remember thinking before ignoring the red flag and falling in love with the illusion...

I read people, even when I try not to and some people beg me to switch off the part of my mind that does this. Yet I can´t just turn it off....though I truly wish I could. It is tiring, I feel it in my gut when something is wrong and I then I read the confirming facts in people and their stories. Just watching things fall apart in front of me hurts so much at times I fall apart as well, but also there are times I try to ignore all of it and just live the gamble, though I was never much of a gambler to be honest. We cannot take love hostage, nor trust or respect.... but is it too much to expect at the very least honesty from those one holds dear? I wonder why it is, that some people act as cowards whilst others show great bravery ?

The contemplations of today are dark, just found out that someone I thought highly of is nothing more than a weak person and filled with lies. Also ordered the rabies vaccine for my cat, which means Norway is getting closer and my expat life is over. Right now though the life I have down here in the Netherlands is falling apart and I need to be re-born one way or the other. At the moment I am thinking hard how I will do this, how will I start over without feeling mortified?

Open to any suggestions, if you have them.

xx Viking

How different?

Hello there,

Yesterday I got to know a woman from Somalia. She is 21 and orthodox Muslim, highly intelligent with languages seeing she has learned Dutch in less than a year and speaks it really well. Very friendly lady with a sense of humor which I can appreciate. We differ in many ways though, I am an atheist and from a so called modern family. She the opposite and to her it is strange that a 29 year old woman is not yet married and lives in a country without her family. I can´t even imagine how it would be like to live with that expectation, that if you do not get married before this or that age you are a failure. She asked me about it and I just laughed and told her welcome to the Netherlands anno 2016! 

We laughed about my little comment and drank coffee and tea and spoke about how things were in Somalia after she did her prayers. She had a zip out of her cup and asked if I had any friends from Somalia. I had to think but I really do not think so. Since a guy from Somalia tried raping me about 8 years ago I have not really met with people from Somalia that much. Not because I was scared, I kind of just did not hang with that crowd at all. But it is nice to get to know someone from such a different culture and religion, I believe it makes my knowledge base greater and it helps me see a different perspective. I mean it is not like Norway or the Netherlands were that much different 200 years ago in the sense of religion nor traditional views. Sure it was a different religion, but if you look at the history there was a lot of shame connected to not be married by a certain age as a woman or have children at a certain age. We too were so tied up in a religion that almost any means possible to make people convert was used and could be justified by the religion. But our culture modernised and adapted to capitalism and science and now these are our scapegoats or excuse to hide behind. After great new thinkers and scientists like Spinoza and Darwin wrote their books on their views and findings for example, it influenced how artists thought, how the media wrote and how political parties use their influence But of course it is not as simple as that, many revolutions had to happen, poverty and war had to happen.....The result though was, people in power of media and capital at some point got more and more independent from the church as result and viola ! A new era consistent  of  a society with less religious influence. But a big thing like religion has to be replaced by something and history shows that capitalism is just another political skirt to hide behind in the big picture. If not problems like global warming would have already been dealt with, and we all know it. If intelligence really was all that mattered, humans would have done something collectively to save the planet and erase all the troubles that come between us and work towards a sustainable way of life where money did not matter.

Even if I am an atheist I respect that other people think differently I terms of religion. All I kind of demand in return is to get that respect back. Respect is important to me and if I do not have it be it from anyone no matter what point of view they have or where they are from I kind of move on. No need to spend time on such people, but if it comes from ignorance or social awkwardness I do feel the obligation to try and enlighten people. 

I really like to learn new things from others and I believe that even if I think differently than many other people it does not mean I cannot learn from them. Giving someone respect is the first step towards stopping the unthinkable things that is being done for capitalism, religion and any other big cause that people tend to hide their horrid actions behind. Respecting others is what makes us human, that makes us people instead of monsters. It has nothing to do with being perfect nor right or wrong....it is purely gaining some kind of understanding about the other and accepting that we might differ in some ways. Whilst if you look at the big picture we are not that different at all and that with mutual respect and understanding we would have saved our planet already, God or no God, rich or poor.

xx Viking

Beyond tired....

Hello there,

Had a rough day at work and I have no clue how some people clean like 15 rooms in 4 hours....I did 6 BIG rooms today and by the time I was done every joint and limb in my body was hurting. Furthermore, I was so tired I could barely stand up in the bus back home. I came back home and crashed on the bed after yet again cleaning up what the dogs had tore out of the trash....

I am so tired that I have no clue how I will manage to do 2 jobs once I find an evening job. Yet I will have to do that to make ends meet. I just know I will have the best damb sleep I have ever had. I already do now and an extra job will certainly mean more craving for bedsheets, pillows and caring feline presence.

The back of my mind keeps telling me it is just temporary, but reality is that I am scared that this is my life story...to be working my behinds off to just pay the bills and not have any time left to live and meet friends....it is certainly not what I want with my life so I better make sure that does not happen. Stay positive, that is the mantra I need to keep going until it is all over and I can lean back a bit. I forgot how tiring real physical work can be and certainly when your boss expects you to do more and more and more but still have just 4 hours to do all that. #WORRIED

I am sure it will sort out, just need to remember that it is just temporary. Need to remember I have plans to do grand things.

xx Viking

Romance and Dating Abroad?

This one is for all the romantic souls out there ;)

A more cheerful post compared to my latest additions I suppose. In my experience when you ask an expat why they moved abroad you usually get 1 out of 2 possible answers. Either their stories got guided by romance or by a work-opportunity or maybe even both. I guess I could argue and say that I would probably have lived abroad no matter what, just maybe not in the Netherlands. 

So what is it like moving for love or for romance? And what is it like to date abroad and meeting people from a completely different culture? 

Well, as you already guessed I am far from an expert on romance, but have dated from different cultures and definitely see differences. Moving for romance though or love is a thrill, an adventure of sorts and (you guessed it..) scary as heck. Leaving all you know behind for something that is not set in stone and out of your control is to say the least a kind of situation that only crazy people would do (being in love is kind of crazy as we all know!)

Moving abroad for something so big as love creates a lot of pressure for that other person that you are crossing boarders for. Many 1st time expat relationships break because of this, the blame, the guilt and the tension that comes with the move changes you or at the very least puts you off balance for a while. It is only in hindsight I see that and can let go of the blame I had for a certain person for the longest time. Everyone make mistakes and I sure as hell was never an angel when tensions ran high.

So what does an established and single expat do when the relationship is over and he or she again feels the urge to get back on the market? Oh well dating of course! In my opinion dating should be connected to one word and one word only....FUN! After my big break-up a few years back I did date rather a lot (at least for my measure) and before I was in that relationship I had dated in the UK. I do like dating, it is not too complicated which for me is probably a part of the attraction.

Dating in Norway was never my cup of green tea, the Nordic dates I had back home were not really dates for starters! Meeting someone at a party hardly qualify as a date. My friends always told me I was picky when I really just wanted to be treated like a lady. Norwegian men never really treated me like one and I would be so bold as to say it is not the only Nordic country where people struggle to be social like that. I mean nothing bad about Nordic men really, and of course I would never say everyone is the same, My own experience of  Nordic dating is very limited simply because Nordic men rarely take the initiative unless they are drunk. It feels like you are in kindergarten and someone is pulling your hair to get your attention ;)

You might think the UK would be the same but this is not entirely true. Sure people drink a lot but I had my first gentleman experience there. And I am convinced of their social development as far as dating goes. Even when you meet just male friends for a coffee or something you are treated like a lady! At least I was and for the first time I felt totally NON-ROMANTIC hahaha. I was told off because I was too closed and hard to read. Another observation I made was that suddenly there were compliments, people were holding doors open for me....ME!, People asked me out! I felt like I could get used to it being treated like that. Men over there are less direct compared to the Dutch yet more direct then my own countrymen. The fact is that Norway is a big-ass country, often with a lot of distance from one neighbour to the next.... prices to go out are sky-high and unless you live in a big city there are few freetime activity offers unless you like to go on dates in nature all the time. I can understand where the less social behaviour is coming from to their defence and who says I am any better?? In fact I have heard more than once that on an emotional level I act typical of my culture.

In the UK there is bowling, dancing work-shops, cheap Indian food, hipster markets, fairs, regular trains to other cities and several zoos and so on and so forth. Also manners are thought from a young age (most places!). Again, I am just comparing my own experiences between the places I have lived and dated. Once I had a very romantic pick-nick in Ipswich with a Brit I had known for a while. He set the standard quite high for the next guy, not only because he did this but he took me to see new places and every date was kind of an adventure.  It was friendship in the end but hey it changed me a lot more and for the better. The bar was high the guy had given me some confidence somehow beyond my capabilities to explain as to why, it was just this way. Maybe it was the fact that I finally knew what I wanted to feel like with someone, that my expectations of a date and romance was not that crazy to start with. But I was never the type of lass that went looking for romance nor love but if it happened to me I wanted fireworks from my belly up to that big head of mine. Dating was fun, but I was too buried in my books and trainings to see the use of these so called ¨feelings¨ of pink fluffy love back then. I had decided when I was successful and independent I would take my time with such things (YEAH tragic I know!) 

So, romance eh.... it hits you when you least expect it. The Dutch men I have met seem to think they can control it. Inside my head I laugh at them and think ¨Hell, good luck with that mister!¨ because honestly I have been there and done that. I will never be so arrogant again as to think I can control these kind of feelings. But I have learned to tone it down when they hit me with brute force. My experience of dating in the the Dutch culture has been divided, but very often it is like that. Men here seem to love dating and treating a woman like myself like a lady, yet in the end of the day it is a boy who is just as afraid to get hurt as I am. I see it and let it go mostly....I say mostly because sometimes I cannot straight away. Because despite the awesome way I have been treated here in this country and the places I have seen with the people I have seen it , I cannot help to shake off this sadness they carry with them. 

Even if romance is being practised in terms of directly showing genuine interest in a woman the fear of losing face or control in a feeling is so grand that often men here serial date. So you might be treated like a lady, but so might the ¨Sunday-and-the Monday girls¨.  You might feel like a queen in his presence but once you know the culture it is hard to believe you are the only active whats app conversation on his phone if you get my drift. I think that women who date Dutch men therefore protect themselves by not getting too attached and often serial-date as well or just cheat on them if you can call it cheating then... there is also a big culture of having ¨OPEN-relationships¨ here. This is where you might be emotionally tied to one person or what one calls ¨IN-love¨ but then having sex with or just dating other people. I know to some people this sounds quite crazy whilst for others it is real way of life. In my opinion I think young people have kind of lost their way a bit. A need to control our feelings has led to this new compromised relationship-models, a distrust to society and a loss of identity in the sea full of people and Tinder photos. In a world were there are so many people who are a better catch than you...in a world where people betray the trust put out there it is fair to say that people no longer wear their heart up their sleeve. Heck if I do...no way!

I find dating in the Netherlands fun (when I date that is). There are so many things you can do on a date here that every-time you go it is a surprise in a way. And let´s face it, a date is not a commitment in anyway but you can have intelligent conversation and experience and one  heck of an adventure, no guilt attached. People are really open just to get to know you better, no pressure at all as far as I am concerned and it should not be. For me romance abroad is kind of odd to talk about. It is something I cannot control, and dating is a chance to get to know new people without strings attached, a chance to just share a nice moment with someone if only that. The difference is clear...yet many mistake them for the same and some people are scared to date for this very reason. The need to be perfect for your date should be non-existent in my humble opinion.  

For me romance abroad has a very broad meaning and certainly has a different interpretation if I get all personal about it. In a sense I wish I was more romantic  but I am not (some friends would say TYPICAL CAPRICORN! Yet others would just say typical NORDIC) . Compared to a Nordic couple I might be more romantic, though I am not 100% sure. Romance it has something sweet and innocent about it, a lightness that I rarely find myself getting lost in. It should be okay to have fun when single and living in 2016. Romance only comes your way when you are emotionally ready and not always when you expect it, no matter what country you are in. All I can say about the matter is that it is another exciting experience  :)

X Viking

Living on the edge?

Hi there,

The rain is pouring outside and I am off work for the weekend, the dogs are relaxing at my feet. Me? I am sending applications out and talking to recruiters to hopefully get things sorted with a fulltime job.  As I am sending out applications I cannot help but ask myself will my life always be on edge? I struggle to remember 1 single time in my life when I did not need to be on guard or to be prepared for though times. Maybe this time last year I thought I had found something like that, but for a borrowed moment only. It is as if life sometimes puts my through some kind of sick test at times. Do not get me wrong, a life on the edge can be thrilling as well at times...not knowing what will happen can feel quite freeing. Yet after so much stuff happening in my life I cannot help but feel really really old, as if I am ready to retire from it all without a worry in sight. As a baby I already started a life on the edge, was declared dead for 30sec and luckily a doctor saved me from such a short life. How many times after that I have been with one foot on the ¨other side¨ I have no clue any more. It seem to follow me this bad habit of ¨sleeping¨ on the edge. I do not say this to scare anyone or because I am depressed or anything like this, it was merely something that popped into my mind this morning. 

Sometimes the two words WRONG TIMING play in repeat in my mind as if my brain is trying to tell me it was bad timing that caused all these events in my life that broke and rebuilt me. Like a vintage vase that is impossible to put back in the exact same way. I change a bit each time and it feels like those events did not happen to me in a way. Though some days I see it like a film playing on my iris and it feels overwhelming and as if I am 100 years old. 

Right now things are going somewhat in the right direction with work. And even if I am happy that at least I am earning some money and keeping my mind busy...a strong sense of impatience drills into my chest. As if this old person inside me wants to slam the drums and make stuff happen and fast! There are so many things I want to do and I want it right now! Ever had that feeling? If I had the finances for it I know exactly how I would have started up my business. I know where  I would invest and what charities I would support. It is all clear in my mind, all these plans of mine...living on the edge does not help my cause though. Not helping my cause at all. Was it ever a choice to have this kind of life? Maybe, it does not really feel that way at times due to stuff that happened...yet , yet there is something in me that would get bored with a A4 life I suppose.

The Viking needs adventure, needs stuff to happen though I would like for it to be more good things happening at the moment. Some patience would have been nice as well, why wasn´t I born with some more of THAT quality??

Looking ahead again is a great feeling, but is it enough?

xx Viking

A matter of adapting?

Hey there readers,

It is a rainy day here in the Netherlands and today I met some of my new colleagues in the temp-job I have at a hotel not too far from here. The team I work in only has expats and today I met Miss N. It is a lovely lady, she is sweet, friendly and notoriously accurate! I tagged along with her for the day to get trained and it was nice to get to know someone new who came to NL 1 year after me. She told me she still finds NL a weird country, a lot of things are different from home. This is what is always the case, adapting to a new environment can be hard but at times it can be a blessing. I remember moving from Norway to the UK and I felt very welcomed and I needed little time to adapt. At tops I had a 6 month adjustment period, but then again I did live on campus and hence got the social part sorted right there. Being a student in another country changes things you see. The friends and contacts you make at college or university will be easy to make and may be important later on in your career. If you have to start without that and in a country where you do not know anyone it is and will be difficult at first. No one can make you adapt, it has to come from you and I think it only comes once you start understanding the country and culture you move to. You start the journey by learning the language and maybe make some connections with expat groups. When something annoys you try taking a step back and look at what kind of perspective most people of that culture have and ask yourself why. Maybe asking someone born here about it will help explain and give some comfort and make you feel like it is not personal. 

I mean it took me at least 1.5 years to get used to some of the different aspects of the Dutch culture, once I started to understand the language some of my insecurities fell away. There was also the fact that I had a nice new job where people spoke Dutch to me all the time and I could ask people about stuff I did not understand without getting a snappy or arrogant answer. Doors opened in terms of the social aspect more and more with time and different jobs. One of the major changes which helped me a lot was to move to the North of the Netherlands, near Amsterdam. Working in Amsterdam started a whole new era for me, suddenly I made friends with what I would define as international souls. I mean they could be Dutch, Suriname, English, Spanish or any other nationality but the common ground was that we were all working for the same young company. It kind of brought us together in a way and even if it was a short-term job it helped me in many ways to start a new chapter in my life. It felt like there was a sense of things falling into place and I could adapt and let down my guard a bit.

People who are patient with freshly hatched expats are usually the best people to ask questions. In every country there will be narrow minded people that do not want to understand or try to see your perspective. Trying not to become like such people can be challenging YET there are the choices again, the choices we make based on how we wanna be treated. My experience is that to be shitty back at people who are shitty to you rarely works wonders. Remember when your mum told you to bite your teeth together and smile when people tried to provoke you? Well I can tell you this advice came in handy quite a few times after moving to the Netherlands. No person, country or culture nor expat is perfect....we adapt the best way we can. The Netherlands has thought me more about myself and my own character than I expected. Sure I laugh about the stereotypical frames that encompass the Dutch. My culture also has some weird and funny aspects to it that I can laugh about of course! It is ok to make a bit of harmless fun out of the awkward situations that arise. 

Miss N. will find her moment, when she is forced to change the way she sees things and in fact I think it is already starting. She just passed her inburgering (integration) exam which is the first step to understand the culture. Her Dutch is pretty good so she is well on her way.

As far as my own view on the Netherlands in this moment? Well I dare say I am a fan of the country but still adapting to certain things and still keeping a door open about Norway and the UK. For me 2 things are important to enjoy life, build a career and have good friends or family near. Once I have both of these in the same country I will be a billion times happier about the state of things. Right now, I am adapting to yet another new situation of course so let us see how this chapter will end.

xx Viking