There is a topic that few expats write about. I see them blog about the fantastic experiences they have had in the countries where they are or have stayed in. I read about international cooking, weird experiences yet there is one side of the expat life few people (if any) ever write about. Being born into the a world which is becoming smaller and smaller might make you think that moving across boarders only opens doors. That living abroad does nothing but enrich your life. I can tell you I thought that, I dreamt of it all my childhood, longed for a get-away, longed for freedom to speak, travel and be myself. I wanted adventure, to learn from other cultures and to feel foreign soil under my feet.
My first move was as many of you know not abroad. At the age of 16 I moved not too far from my hometown. The place was called Voss and is around 1,5-2hours away I guess but it was enough to make me realize that distance changes your relationships with family and friends. Though I did not have many close friends in my hometown I did have some that I had let inn a little. Some people that I had opened up to, just a little bit more than the rest. We of course like close friends do promised to meet up as much as possible (every weekend!). On everything holy to us us we promised to keep in touch. Our idealistic idea was, that real friendship never dies. I did not come back every weekend and they did not visit me either, neither did my family. We kept in touch for a few years, via letters but that too soon died. Why? Distance and lack of time and confirmation that we were still okay maybe. We found new friends, maybe better friends (?) and I again promised myself to not loose touch when I moved again. This time my best friend from Voss actually joined me in the move, we studied at a better school in the south west of Norway (4 hours away from my hometown this time). I had stopped going back home all together, there was nothing for me there I thought at the time (although that was not entirely true of course, but what can I say I was a teenager!)
After 3 years in Nedstrand with my best friend I had made even more friends. Good friends, close friends and again we promised to keep in touch and visit each other after my move to England. My best friend came with me so at least there I knew we would keep in touch for sure. A part of me knew that none of my good friends from Nedstrand would ever visit me in Britain. Yet I had hopes, I also had hopes some other friends of mine from Norway would visit, but they never did though I visited them a few times.
I guess the point is, no matter how hard you try the distance put between you demands hard efforts from both sides psychologically decline. To become less of an obstacle you need to be really focused on the other person and feel that you are a priority to them as well. Life gets busy and you get new friends, new priorities and this is what happens to most people. This is why I hate saying goodbye to good friends, because I know the drill and promises all too well.
Thinking about all those great people who has let me be a part of their life though does bring me joy. Even if I had the honor of just being a part of theirs for a split ¨second¨ in this life which feels so long already. Expats all over the world must recognize this I think, being free or unattached sometimes leads us down the path to nostalgia and reminiscence. I just hope one day there will be some kind of balance for me, between traveling and seeing friends. I am for once not craving to be unattached nor to have constant freedom, feeling safe, warm and loved has started to tempt more and more ( am I GETTING old?!) ;)
x Annie
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