Hello Everyone,
It has been about a year since my last post. So much has happened that it is difficult to know where to begin my story. I have lost and got rid of many things and people in my life. As always when things go in a very bad direction for a while I clear my ¨table¨ in one big flash. I start fresh and see my life as a canvas only I can paint. The only thing I can hold on to is who I am and what I stand for. Being a nomad is who I have become and not who I am, I get restless when things are not going the way I was hoping or if I really want to achieve something that is out of reach.
When I feel like that, travelling heals, working out makes my mind more clear and helping people or animals make me fulfil my purpose. At least that is kind of my take on it.
Last year I was missing people around me that cared. I met a lot of challenges alone in my private life and I was at my wits end with it. I blamed myself for a lot of it, for accepting too much, for getting mad, for not standing my ground. I blamed the Dutch culture and I blamed my past for my situation. After a lot of rounds with myself and one final blow I took a hold of the situation and ripped all the bad stuff out of my life like a weed and started fresh.
Almost a year later I realise that sometimes situations and people are just not a fit any more. And that if you stick to what you want to fit but don't no matter the good intentions...your seams will burst in the end. There is no seamstress that will fix it either, so you have to either get good with that ¨needle¨ or hit the roads to find a better ¨pair of jeans¨.
A sweet friend of mine saw this all along. She told me ¨Annie are you really happy?¨. I used to tell her no life is perfect and it is not of course, but that was also me looking away and ignoring what was really creeping under my skin.
So after brushing off the dust and a lot of tears I managed to start over again. The last year as single Norwegian in the Netherlands was a new and exciting experience for me. Somehow I got a lot of new friends, new job and a new apartment (which I will soon leave by the way). Life fell into place even if it was not perfect but I feel like I have found myself again.
My current life is 30min from Amsterdam by tram and a 10 minute bus-ride from Schipol Airport. I work in Amsterdam near Leidseplein. Not at all my plan, but somehow I enjoy this intermediate state of living somewhere that allows me to be me 100%. No one tells me to tone it down or that I should act different, which feel freaking amazing! I know who my real friends are and I get the best of 2 worlds (city and side village with man made nature). When I am not working, my time is spent travelling within NL, working out, walking in the forest near my place and exploring new cultures in this amazing country.
All the people I have met since I started over has thought me something about myself. Heck even those I met before that has thought me things I can see now in hind-view. For that I am grateful and humble. It has helped me find the happy me, the young woman with a sparkle in her eyes and sarcasm and irony filling her to the brim. I can not remember last time I was smiling and laughing as much.
The air is so much fresher, the light so intensely bright, the food taste better and this is just the start of something good I can feel it! :D
To be continued peeps....!
Copyright: Facebook
x Annie
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