Sorry that I am not the most cheerful writer the last few months but I am hoping I can give you some good news in the coming week. I could start with saying that my flatmates and I bought me some more time yesterday. After our real estate agent told us it was ok that another person and 2 dogs joins the household. It might be too early to say but I might have some good news about a job in a week or so, but I do not dare to celebrate just yet. I will certainly keep you updated if there are good news.
How wonderful it would be to be able to say, hey there is good news! Yesterday was a small uplift, I also went to Haarlem centrum basking in the sun a bit with a good friend. It was good to laugh and discover new cafés in the old centre as we strolled up and down the streets I am starting to know very well by now. Again we went to the park and I got to meet some goats and an alpaca! It was a good day all in all and I am starting to feel somewhat hopeful about getting out of this rut.
Furthermore, I am doing some investigation into how I could start my own business these days. Once I have enough money in the bank I will go for it! Because I really want to be my own boss at some point. How awesome would that be? To have something to look forward to again is quite nice, but first I need to sort out the job situation.
I cannot emphasize enough how lucky I am with my friends. They are the sole reason I keep going and keep trying not to loose myself in all my struggles. There is always a small part of me that feels like I do not deserve such loveliness, yet I know that is just my demons that I carry with me. At some point I hope I can dump those demons in a ditch and that they stay there. Clearly, I am not the only person who at times have a low self-esteem or has her doubts about her own abilities and worth. Still though I wish it out of my life this darkness that show it´s ugly head when I am in trouble. A friend told me as I get older I will stop feeling like this, I hope he was right. Because honestly I am so done feeling stressed and useless.
Yesterday I spoke to my very good friend Ruby on Skype, it was so nice to let the conversation rave on for 2 hours as if we were in the same room like old times. I miss that lovely lass so much sometimes, she is like a sister to me and has probably seen me at my worst and at my best. She knows me better than anyone, because there was never a pressure to be anything except myself around her. Few people have such an important role in my life and I hope we never grow apart.
Tomorrow I am hoping for good weather, because I am gonna clean out the house properly and go to town and meet some people at my favourite café. Sunday I have a full programme and goodbye drinks for a lovely lady as well. So hopefully the weekend is sunny and light to keep the good spirit and so I can head to Bloemendaal National Park to refresh my soul a bit and work on my plan for how to sort out this mess of a life ;)
Until next time peeps,
xx Viking
(Google Images, 2016)
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