A walk in the park

Hi there,

I finally have some more time on my hands from work. I spend it looking for and planning what next in terms of work and where I will live. Hoping to have found something in Stavanger or Rogaland come late fall but I am not sure if I will have any luck there by then. 

Today I went for a small hike near a place called Strand in Odda. I put my music on and let the hiking paths take me up into the hills and then down to the lake nearby. It was lovely to be alone for a while and to just find peace in the sun. Everything always seems better after a hike and the brain get to process a lot of impressions that might have gotten stuck in the back of the mind. 

I am learning that people will go a great length to get attention. Once they got it they have no clue what to do with it, at least that is how it seems to me. As I jumped and swung down the path filled with heather and old evergreen needles and took inn the scent of forest and mountain I realised how happy I was just being alone. I was smiling and I felt strong and determined. Believe me when I say THAT do not happen everyday. It is nice because it confirms I can trust myself again that I made some decisions that were right after all. Truly, I think that we are becoming more obsessed by the attention and support of others. When all we REALLY need is right there within out hearts and minds. Some get addicted to confirmation and or responses from the world around them. I find myself becoming less attentive to that sort of life. Sure I am  social and I like to spend time with friends, but as I get older and learn more about myself I find it becomes more and more important to me how I live with my own decisions and what I think of myself. There was a long period of my life when I hated who I was and where I was heading. I hated it so much I wanted to just end it and popped the wrong kind of pills. Right then I had no clue how much I needed a friend to pick me up and I was only so lucky a friend found me on that day because if not I would have not survived it the nurses told me so.

For 2 days I was paralysed from the back and down and puking like a hero...(well not really a hero but you get my drift!) The point of this story is not to start a pity party, or to wallow in the past. Because I know the worst was put behind me more than 10 years ago. It would be nice though if we in this world who go through stuff focus more on getting back on our own feet before it goes that far. Sure one does need help sometimes to regain strength and focus and there is no shame in that, yet it is not a given that people are there for you. The way we act towards the next person is the way we deserve to be treated I always thought. If we shut down and stop talking all together no one will talk to us or ask how we are. If we get angry at the world the rest of it will respond with anger most of the time (unless one is real lucky!)

Life is full of mistakes and learning moments. They make up the pebbles on your journey, on your road to the life you are aiming for. Know your aim and know that if there are D-days then with the right approach your friends will come to the rescue when you are calling.

Life is about learning, giving and receiving without getting all superduper egocentric about the whole ordeal. At least that is my take on it and of course it is not always a walk in the park but more like a hike in the mountains ;) Sometimes the road is real bumpy, slippery and full of obstacles and hard reality. Your legs hurt and get stiff, your lungs burn on the way to where you want to be but in the end....with some resilience and plenty of short breaks you get to the top. 

xo Viking