Many of you already know that I have been moving around since the age of 16. And although I often talk about differences in culture and such it is often from a general perspective rather than getting into specifics. People may wonder why and to be honest there is not a very clear answer to that. So I wish to mix it up a bit and tell you a bit about how I as a woman experience the countries I have been to and lived in. I also wish to give examples I have heard through female friends of mine or through the media just to show some nuances and not just my own view.
More than once I have seen and heard examples of situations abroad and from my own country where women experience their stay, work and social situations different from that of men. Why is that women can not climb to become great leaders of companies ? Or if they do then how come there are so few of us?
I can be rather flirty person, yet at work I do not feel the need to be made a sexual object more than men do. In fact at work I like to focus on my work to do it well and in order to grow. So why is it time after time I meet men at work that think trying to make me blush will make me loose focus? If anything I believe it just makes me more determined. Some of you know I have been to a few interviews lately and I can tell you that almost every man that interviewed me at some point pulled out the flirting card...was I amused?No. Maybe I am harsh now but really I want to be taken seriously at work, I want to grow and I certainly am not looking for a "quicky" in the copy-room! To my surprise I did have an interview with a rather neutral and critical guy recently that looked beyond my gender and how liberating it felt to be scrutinized for my education, work-experience and management skills rather than my "private skills". I mean it can of course be a kind of humor as well to flirt a little, yet men at work in an office do not show the same "need"" for humor in the work place when it comes to other men. In fact they are more dominant towards each other like hidden alphas trying to compete about the best prices, ideas, bonus etc. When you take away the distractions of flirting you get professionalism and a focus you may look long and hard for if you are flirting with the boss. The worst thing I see is women flirting back as well, it does make me wanna tell them "a more simple way to make a woman less successful does not exist". Even in commercials women are undressed like useless dolls and displayed whilst men are not unless it is a for a porn movie. The picture under from suit supply is and was being displayed in bus sheds all around the Netherlands which I think is sickening and useless. Men keep their uniforms, why can this not be more equal?
Copyright: Suit supply (2015 )
Copyright: Dambcoolpictures.com (2012)
I am not saying that men are shit or all that sort of nonsense. What I am saying is that women experience for example the work-place different due to old traditions and the fact that women are viewed different at work then men to men. It is unfortunate and often the same in all the countries I have visited. Of course you have worse issues other places, like the rape of women that go out alone late at night in asian countries such as India. I recently read an article of a woman that decided to not become a victim of a rape back in India. When he assaulted her she grabbed his hair and dragged him to the police station. Women applauded her whilst many men scoffed at it. Her family said it would shed a negative light on her and were worried for her future. The man will probably get a sentence but not because he assaulted her, but because he was wasted and already known by the police.
When I lived back home in Norway I was never too scared to walk home at night alone no matter how late it was. Mind you there are rapists and other dangerous people in Norway as well yet it was much safer to walk home alone there than any other place I have ever been. Yet just like any other country cities are often different in the dark. As I was looking for apartments in the Netherlands I met landlords telling me the neighborhood was safe...for men.... "if I was a woman I would not walk home alone at night but take the bike or bus" is a standard phrase. It sounds very dramatic however over here it is quite a normality which makes me think something needs to change.
If a woman is strong some men see it as a challenge which in the right context can be fantastic. Though I must say the context has not always been so great for me. Though I am strong on the outside some situations will even break this Viking woman. If only for a moment I also have my limits. One such moment was when a guy tried to rape me back home in Norway. I was 20 and very naive something that led me into a bad situation. It has defiantly made me stronger but also very skeptical to human kind. I was lucky to have picked up some martial arts and self-defence tricks, but for 30 minutes I had to fight this guy who almost killed me or worse. I have people who are really dear to me that got raped by friends and I saw what it did to them and in the end that was the only thing that went through my head. I did not want to become a victim in any way and I used my anger and self-defence and made sure I did not become statistics. Now this is all very serious, but I think it is important for women everywhere to know that life as a woman is rather different in both good ways and bad, it is essential to be able to deal with certain situations. Of course I do not want a lot of very anxious ladies walking around but the truth is this: Because of our gender we have to watch out. Police will not always help you, they need proof and even when they have it the woman is often told she could have acted or dressed different. In my opinion even if this to be true, a man can also act different. No one told me these lessons, I had to learn it the hard way. In Norway I know women that have been raped and the assaulter goes free most times or has a max punishment of 6 months in jail. Financial crimes however might be punished by several years....what...the...ffffff?!!!
With that being said though women do have an advantage on the social side of things (this looks insignificant now I know...). Free entrance for night club, extra alcohol in the cocktails and oh yes leaving the IKEA dresser for the man to build...those are all great perks of being a women!! Oh and yes I know there are some die-hards that insist on doing the IKEA stuff themselves and all I can say to that is...good for you ;) This Viking do not mind being a typical woman when it comes to that hahaha.
In the Netherlands I have also had more than one uncomfortable moment with men when just going about my normal things. Especially in the beginning I struggled with how to deal with it because of the rape-attempt back home in Norway. Then there was also the different cultures to take into account. But why should culture be an excuse to act like a total ass to women?? I once cycled with a friend though an area of Utrecht which has house-boats filled with prostitutes (only women...go figure that...). In the Netherlands this is legal. Me and that friend of mine were just on our way to the countryside and I was wearing a boring t-shirt and jeans. As we passed these weird boats with women strolling up and down the bridge almost nude, cars started to follow me and the disgusting men in them started to whistle. That made the guy on the bike look at me in a new light, he realized for the first time that as a woman these kind of things happen and you just need to deal with them. It was nice that for the first time a guy could see with his own eyes that I do not encourage this behavior what so ever. Yet it is one of the situations we have to deal with just because of our gender and nothing else. In some cases it works to send them what I refer to as "the killer look". All men know their in trouble when they see this look, unless they are mental of course... In some cases that does not even work and then it might be better to ignore it or in extreme cases call the police. For some cultures I ask them what their family name or their mother's name is. If they ask me why I tell them I just wonder if they know that their son is behaving like this to another woman. Yet that is not always safe to do so, but if it is already going south anyhow what the heck, you might as well scare em a little! Reputation is everything in some cultures.
Copyright: Pixshark (2015)
In my mind (at least) women of the world have a lot of strange challenges to get past as they go to work, move to other countries and in social settings. Yet we also have advantages which are things like. Finding a place to live is easier due to traditional views (the men think we are tidy and organized in most cases and so does the women!). Forget carrying your own suitcase to the bus...a strong man will pick it up whilst the scrawny guy with his big rug-sack will have to sweat his ass off before throwing it into the bus! (Mohahahahah!)
Yes flirting or playing the maiden in dreary need can be fun and prove effective in such situations indeed. I think women in general though need to be aware when to enjoy this in social situations and not bring it with them to work for example. It can cause a work-culture where the men end up successful and women are nothing more then the side-kick. We are not dolls and I wish equality without having to cover up (not that this helps anyhow). And I want more education about different cultures and that we will stop stupid traditions that makes women less then they are.
Yes flirting or playing the maiden in dreary need can be fun and prove effective in such situations indeed. I think women in general though need to be aware when to enjoy this in social situations and not bring it with them to work for example. It can cause a work-culture where the men end up successful and women are nothing more then the side-kick. We are not dolls and I wish equality without having to cover up (not that this helps anyhow). And I want more education about different cultures and that we will stop stupid traditions that makes women less then they are.
So, there you have it. One very serious post for the end of the weekend. Ponder away dear readers, ponder away.
X Viking
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