Hello there,
Many of you know that I have lived in the Netherlands over 5 years now. 21st of March 2011 I arrived and despite having lived abroad in the UK for 3 years as a student I had NO IDEA what to expect. Sure I read about the Dutch culture and tried learning the language without luck (there was no Dutch teachers in my hometown). But I was nowhere near prepared.
Little did I know I would be moving to a country where capitalism would define who you are and what you are entitled to in your community. I struggled to adapt to a world where money matters that much, because believe it or not, I am just a girl from Norway who is not focused on capital but intellect and goodness of a person. I left Norway thinking that my good intent, motivation and love for someone and of course the sense of adventure would be enough. That my personal attributes would be enough for not only the man I left my comfortzone for but for the new country I was moving to. I had heard of and visited the liberal city of Amsterdam and I had seen other cities as well here in the Netherlands before I went.
I was green, foolish to think my fairytale would end happy. Because I was met with a attitude that being me was simply put: NOT ENOUGH! What was my plan? Had I applied to jobs already? How much was I planning to earn? I would have to settle with a low-paid job right, since I was a foreign person?! How did my CV look?! Did I already have interviews?! This was my first week in the Netherlands, even the 2nd day I had these questions thrown at me. There I was having worked my behinds off for years, working and studying without holidays for almost a decade and then I get asked to answer such questions straight away when I finally have landed next to the man I had been separated from for almost 6 months. I wanted a week of peace, because yes I had applied to jobs when in Norway next to working 2 jobs to pay for my first months in the Netherlands but I needed to land a bit mentally. I needed to spend some time and tend to the relationship. I was not allowed to and we all know it ended by now.
It felt like I was not enough, not rich enough to deserve to stay, to be with him or to even be entitled to apply to jobs which were actually in my field. Unless I had an awesome businessplan and means to ensure me lots of revenue fast to be important enough to be cared for. This is how it felt and THAT pressure was immense, I got stressed and I felt abandoned by the one that was supposed to support me and be there. Suddenly I realized it was not just him, but the system of which the Netherlands works by. It was a part of a capitalistic model that has been in place since WW2 but even before that. Examples are given all through Dutch history, unless you have lots of money you have few rights to feel special, but if you do your world is golden, your opportunities are plentiful.
Health care is the same, if you have little or no money your health system is pretty much non-existent (unless you count the 10 Euro advise for paracetamol against every possible disease you may or may not have). And unless you have been really sick and without a job in the Netherlands you would not know what I am on about.
In work situations I believe in motivating people with positive reinforcement, team building and good communication. I have seen it work and I expect that any capable manager or supervisor will respect their team enough to treat them more or less like equals or important pieces of a big puzzle they are trying to make great together. But that is not how it works here, not even close. It is mostly capital ran motivations that count, putting people under immense pressure and that results in burnouts at a rate you would not believe. I think they called it the new 'folk-epidemic' because never before has the amount of people been this young when getting a burnout and there are so many! Pressure is high unless you have money and the right contacts to make that pressure go away.
Here are the trigger points for me moving back home. Because though I love the Netherlands for its liberal way of life and incredible melting pot of people. And even if I like that the Dutchies encourage you to make big plans and dream big it only goes so far...... it only goes for those who have the means. I could go in more detail on this but I will not, the post will just become too darn long and it calls for a somewhat slower heart-rate to be honest.
I have learned a lot from my 5 years in the country though. Capitalistic social models aside, I have learned that Dutch people are social creatures that makes things happen. I have learned that once you get past the directness and seemingly cynical side of the culture there are some people who are not like that at all and these people are so great and important to get to know. These people are the people that became my friends. I have also met more cultures in this country than I will ever meet anywhere I think. To be more open and not 'typical Norwegian'' has been a work in progress for me since I came. It has been difficult at times because even for a Norwegian lass I have been through quite a bit in my life that has made me rather closed in ways difficult to put into words. I have learned that systems and models are not that easily changed, just because I feel different does not mean it will make a difference. A sad lesson was that I cannot follow my heart anymore, but I need to put my common sense first to find my path in life. Only then I will feel comfortable enough to share life with someone else.Furthermore, I have learned to observe and not take things for granted, because people are not always as they seem or say. Actions speak louder than words, I always knew that but then again one needs to see it and experience it to really know the deeper meaning and the absolute pureness of the truth behind it.
I have learned that a story has more than one or two sides and that sometimes it is just too damb easy to say something is right or wrong. In a sense I have also learned that the energy I used to spend on people who hurt me was not worth spending. More importanly , living in the Netherlands taught me it is ok to dream big and that if there is a negative angle to a story there is bound to be a positive side to it as well.
Though certain sides of the Dutch system have great flaws indeed, I found in all the good and bad it has taught me to see things in context and to be fair and clear regarding the choices I made myself. For this was a life experience I would have not been without. The travels, the friends and the great smiles and laughter exchanged over a nice meal in original bars or restaurants all over the Netherlands. The funny evenings in Amsterdam without plans nor goals beyond a good time and hip-hop dancing through the night. To put words to my feelings or at least trying to, has materialized through this blog while I was abroad and I dare say experiences (both ups and downs) have been shared through my writing.
Needless to say I will make the most of these last weeks in the Netherlands. And I will not say for certain if I will stay in Norway or move abroad again, because if an opportunity bids and I have an urge for another adventure I might just act upon it. Only next time I will be somewhat wiser and base my decisions on a better analysis of the situation at hand.
x Viking
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