No Longer Viking Abroad

Hello folks,

So this will change everything, a decision has been made and tickets have been booked. The 15th of May I will stop being the Norwegian abroad in the Netherlands and start being just an ordinary Viking.

The last weeks and months have been hard, harder than I could even manage to describe to you on paper. I have fought it for longer than my body could take and my money could reach but yesterday the day had come when I had to order the tickets that define the ending of an era. The long fight to stay and trying to make a career in the Netherlands have come to an end. Last year I was almost at this point when I found a special reason to fight extra hard. That reason is gone yet I did my uttermost to find a job and stay anyway, my friends that I made here after all these years are so valuable to me you see. They have been there as a family I could have never even hoped for. I said it to one of the most awesome ladies I have met down here a few weeks ago...in the end I would become a burden without income for them as well, in the end I have to think of what is best to do for me right now and after a lot of problems with my part-time position and not getting enough hours to work for a shit-pay I have come to the conclusion that I have to move back to the land that I call home but does not yet feel like it.

There have been so many memories created in the Netherlands, good moments and bad. There have been exciting nights out with friends. Adventures and trips around the country and there have been more than one heartbreaking story about loves lost. This move will be a new beginning and a chance to spend more time with my family which I have seen little of the past years. It will be a chance to re-build and find means to start my own business and focus on getting better. Health has not been the best since I came to the Netherlands and doctors have done little to help me out there and that also goes for the employers I have worked for. Maybe the fresh Norwegian air is just what I need?

I was not ready to let go of the Netherlands up until I had the last blow 2 weeks ago and that made my decision easier. Another factor is that I found a place I can stay in Norway while I get back on my feet. It will be so strange to go back, but in the end there are several positive aspects to going back as well the way I see it. Because right now I am exhausted from all the everlasting fight I have had. There is no doubt I will miss a whole lot of people but I can only hope I have made good and rich enough friends to come visit me once I am back on track ;)

Even if I was supposed to make a post about the political aspects and how the Dutch capitalistic model has made it difficult for expats to find a decent job, take care of their health and start a business I will have to save that for later. Because it is still too soon for me to write about it, there is still too much emotions surrounding the whole ordeal. Right now, I choose to focus on the good things about moving back rather than the bad, because the truth is I would not be able to handle a lot of bad news at this moment. Though I feel confident I will have to make things work in the best way I can I feel fragile and especially if I were to have more ¨blows¨ right now. So looking at things in the bright way is the only option I have at this moment. 

Sorry does not cover it, my stress levels this year has affected my mood rather a lot the last months and every defeat on the job front did not make me any better. Sorry does not cover how it feels to leave my friends like this and having prepare that I probably will not see many of them again though I would wish to.

Sorry does not cover how much I regret yet still love the fact that I came to the Netherlands 5 years ago with no clue what I was getting myself into. Sorry does not cover how I feel inside about the decision I have made and the people I will have to look in the eyes and say goodbye to.

Positive, that I will hug my granddad and grandmother superhard when I see them! Positive, I will see my best friend again as well! Positive, that I will give my nieces and nephews the time and attention they deserve and excited I get to gossip with my sister again and the rest of my siblings. So I might no longer be the Viking abroad any more and I might not be a part of the liberal culture and art that the Dutchies have created, but I get a lot back in terms of moments, feelings and who knows, maybe careerwise. 

xxViking

Rotterdam March 2016 (A.Westerheim) ¨I will miss it!¨