It is a rainy day here in the Netherlands and today I met some of my new colleagues in the temp-job I have at a hotel not too far from here. The team I work in only has expats and today I met Miss N. It is a lovely lady, she is sweet, friendly and notoriously accurate! I tagged along with her for the day to get trained and it was nice to get to know someone new who came to NL 1 year after me. She told me she still finds NL a weird country, a lot of things are different from home. This is what is always the case, adapting to a new environment can be hard but at times it can be a blessing. I remember moving from Norway to the UK and I felt very welcomed and I needed little time to adapt. At tops I had a 6 month adjustment period, but then again I did live on campus and hence got the social part sorted right there. Being a student in another country changes things you see. The friends and contacts you make at college or university will be easy to make and may be important later on in your career. If you have to start without that and in a country where you do not know anyone it is and will be difficult at first. No one can make you adapt, it has to come from you and I think it only comes once you start understanding the country and culture you move to. You start the journey by learning the language and maybe make some connections with expat groups. When something annoys you try taking a step back and look at what kind of perspective most people of that culture have and ask yourself why. Maybe asking someone born here about it will help explain and give some comfort and make you feel like it is not personal.
I mean it took me at least 1.5 years to get used to some of the different aspects of the Dutch culture, once I started to understand the language some of my insecurities fell away. There was also the fact that I had a nice new job where people spoke Dutch to me all the time and I could ask people about stuff I did not understand without getting a snappy or arrogant answer. Doors opened in terms of the social aspect more and more with time and different jobs. One of the major changes which helped me a lot was to move to the North of the Netherlands, near Amsterdam. Working in Amsterdam started a whole new era for me, suddenly I made friends with what I would define as international souls. I mean they could be Dutch, Suriname, English, Spanish or any other nationality but the common ground was that we were all working for the same young company. It kind of brought us together in a way and even if it was a short-term job it helped me in many ways to start a new chapter in my life. It felt like there was a sense of things falling into place and I could adapt and let down my guard a bit.
People who are patient with freshly hatched expats are usually the best people to ask questions. In every country there will be narrow minded people that do not want to understand or try to see your perspective. Trying not to become like such people can be challenging YET there are the choices again, the choices we make based on how we wanna be treated. My experience is that to be shitty back at people who are shitty to you rarely works wonders. Remember when your mum told you to bite your teeth together and smile when people tried to provoke you? Well I can tell you this advice came in handy quite a few times after moving to the Netherlands. No person, country or culture nor expat is perfect....we adapt the best way we can. The Netherlands has thought me more about myself and my own character than I expected. Sure I laugh about the stereotypical frames that encompass the Dutch. My culture also has some weird and funny aspects to it that I can laugh about of course! It is ok to make a bit of harmless fun out of the awkward situations that arise.
Miss N. will find her moment, when she is forced to change the way she sees things and in fact I think it is already starting. She just passed her inburgering (integration) exam which is the first step to understand the culture. Her Dutch is pretty good so she is well on her way.
As far as my own view on the Netherlands in this moment? Well I dare say I am a fan of the country but still adapting to certain things and still keeping a door open about Norway and the UK. For me 2 things are important to enjoy life, build a career and have good friends or family near. Once I have both of these in the same country I will be a billion times happier about the state of things. Right now, I am adapting to yet another new situation of course so let us see how this chapter will end.
xx Viking
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