Hello there peeps,
I do not write so often these days partly because I am busy making stuff happen in my life and trying to find a solution to my current situation. Hopefully I can manage to sort it out before the end this week or next.
Mostly keeping busy writing and sending out applications and doing research on start-ups. Hoping I can start making my own business happen by the end of next year. At least that is the goal if I find a job first so I can keep my head above water.
Except these boring notions mentioned above I have also got some new flatmates since last. Noelia still lives here but now there is one person extra plus 2 dogs and his cat. That makes for 2 cats and 2 dogs in one household for the time-being! I shall admit, it has been a while since I lived in such a busy house but we are adapting Freya and I, and for now this is the best solution for all of us. During the day I walk the dogs when I feel the need for fresh air and the need for some meditation also pushes me out of the chair. It is weird to walk dogs again, knowing the last dog I owned got taken from me just like that. Yesterday I saw him, someone I do not know was walking him....I wanted to cry when I saw it and yet there is nothing I can do. For those of you who do not know me, I used to have a dog with my first ex here and his name was Darwin.
Leo, the new teenager in the house (A.Westerheim, 2016)
Anyway, I am adapting to the changes at home and I am travelling a bit to see friends. I haven´t seen Patty in a while and yesterday I saw her in Utrecht again. It brought back a lot of memories and I realize it was a good thing I moved away from Utrecht in the first place. It was good to catch up with my friend, so much has happened since last and you know there is nothing like seeing someone who meant a lot to you after a long time! :)
After Patty I had some hours to kill in Utrecht before I met up with Jessie at a bar. Strolling through the streets alone brought back not only nostalgia but a sadness seemed to lurk around every corner and it was a bit difficult to breathe. I felt cold all of the sudden as the memories of distant hopes and dreams filled my brain once more. Jokes once spoken and kisses once shared along Catharijnesingel.....spontaneous dinners and movie nights....walking my dog with someone I thought I knew. I told my brain to let it go because it is not like I wanted that guy back who has changed and hurt me so much. I was just sad that we spent 5 years together and now all that is left of what we had is sadness and grief of a lost friendship, of lost history and of lost time. My stomach twisted inside me as I tried catching some of that cold air and guiding into my lungs. The feeling that things you hold dear turn to dust was very present in the hours when I was strolling through the city alone. Just 2 years ago I had hoped for such a different outcome. Like a movie some memories were dancing across my iris and all I wanted was to stop it. But I know it might be good for me in a twisted way to see what hurts me, because maybe I will learn to take my time with things and take it slow and spend time on myself. At least that is the only logic I can muster to force into my frontal lobe after all that painstaking strolling along memory lane yesterday. It is an understatement to say I was happy to see Jessie waiting for me at le Journal at Neude square after my walk. It is nice to have friends that has the ability to just wash away sadness or stress just like THAT.
Like snapping fingers my stomach was suddenly very calm again, I was even chuckling when sharing stories about silly men we have met through life and plans for the future. It is one of those friends that makes visiting Utrecht a fun ordeal no matter what happened there. A few glasses of Chardonnay later and a couple of more stories was enough to make me feel 1000 times better. Strange how it works.
Friday I went to Leiden, have not been there in a while and met with a friend from Rotterdam as well. It is nice that Leiden still remains one of my favourite cities and that the past I have linked to this city is good memories of good people and good moments. It was a long time since I have laughed that much in one evening and it felt really great and believe me it was needed.
Friday I got dragged out in Amsterdam to a biological restaurant called Bloom. Most dishes were vegetarian and I really really loved the food! Lovely menu and lovely company! I am so lucky with my friends and this week has been such a week of hanging out with many of the best ones as well as making new acquaintances. Monday I got lost in Amsterdam´s red light district per accident! Hahaha it was so funny as I was just very innocently searching for a café/bar where I could get a decent latte to consume. My Google maps are not really working to my defence and I have been to red light district once before but had the impression it was just a long street...well no it is really not just a street but many blocks of it! It the end I found my way out of the labyrinth of naked ladies and the horny men that were watching them in the windows but it was a close call ;) Finally we ended up back at Dam Square and decided to have drinks at Majestic instead, it was too cold to get lost again and winds were not merciful Monday evening.
Last week I also had to say goodbye to one of my friends from Sweden. The lovely lady Malin is moving back home, I hope I will see her again. I also hope I will not have to move back to Norway. It is a scary notion since my life feels very much here at this moment and I would not want to leave just yet and where would I go? It was nice cooking for my friends and sharing some drinks and stories as well. Life is busy, with all kinds of things and I will try to enjoy it as long as I can.
This week will be busy with applications and interviews and I am planning another trip to Bloemendaal national park and de Utrechtse Heuvelrug next weekend. I need some nature to and some detox days as it were. Maybe just maybe I go to Rotterdam as well this week. It depends how things go with the interviews the next few days, hopefully I have something to celebrate and then I will go collecting new good memories.
As for now, that was the most recent update on the state of things from the Viking...
xxx and take care
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